work that matters

What if Success is About What You Have to Leave Behind?

The Words We Use

If you’ve ever studied another language, you know that words that are familiar to us in our own language, often mean something different in the language we’re learning.

In Spanish, for example, the word PIE does not mean delicious Thanksgiving dessert. It means FOOT.

SOPA, though it sounds like our word for SOAP, actually means SOUP.

And EMBARAZADO, contrary to popular opinion, doesn’t mean EMBARRASSED, but PREGNANT.

You can see how you could easily get into trouble misrepresenting any of these words in normal conversation. Things could get awkward fast.

Like, “ Mmmm…No puedo esperar poner un tenedor in ese PIE hermoso.”
Translation: “Mmmm…I can’t wait to put a fork in that beautiful FOOT.”

Or

“Esta SOPA es tan deliciosa. Voy a comerla todos los dias.”
Translation: “This SOAP is so delicious: I’m going to eat it everyday.”

Or

Ella esta EMBARAZADA porque se cayo de la cama anoche.
Translation: She is PREGNANT because she fell off the bed last night.

Is that how that works? I had no idea!

But there are some words, that even though they don’t mean what you think they SHOULD mean, nevertheless, have interesting hidden meanings.

In Spanish, the word for SUCCESS is EXITO. Sounds a lot like our English word for EXIT, doesn’t it? And I don’t think that’s a coincidence. There’s something beautiful about walking out from some dark space and through that wide door with the glowing EXIT sign suspended over it and into the wide, bright world of something better.

SUCCESS

Success means something different to different people. There is no one definition. Asking “What does success mean to you?” is like asking someone what “family” means or even something as mundane as “vacation.” Our definitions are different because our values are different.

I love the imagery of thinking about success in terms of what you want to leave behind. Closing that metaphorical door can be a thought-provoking, visual example of what it means to move forward after loss, oppression, or a simple change in circumstances.

What we carry with us might be heavy. There’s a strong chance that burden won’t fit through the door anyway. We need to shed it before we can move toward our ultimate calling.

Don’t cross the threshold until you’ve dropped the mantle of self-doubt, comparison, and envy. No matter your definition of success, these three things can have no part in it. I know I’m preaching to the choir—I’m actually preaching to myself—because self-doubt, comparison, and envy follow me everywhere I go.

Today’s the day that I tell them I’m leaving them behind for good!

You probably have conflicting emotions over what you’re leaving behind, too. Welcome those feelings for what they are: a visceral response or reaction to a moment in time. Time moves. And so do you. You won’t always feel the way you do right now.

Leave behind the scarcity mindset that threatens to jeopardize what you want most. As Aaron Burr so famously said at the end of Hamilton the musical, “the world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me.”

And you.

Yes, the world is big enough for all of us, and your success does not threaten mine—and vice versa.

The last thing to leave behind is ungratefulness. I say this only because even painful experiences have value. To discount those experiences is an insult to everyone who has ever overcome a difficult situation and used it to do something great. In fact, many (dare I say most?) of the people we venerate as successful have overcome unimaginable hardship to achieve their goals.

What’s Next

If you’ve been following this blog for the last year, then you know that in October 2021, my husband and I purchased a coffee shop in town. This summer, we made the difficult decision to close it. Our last day was September 3rd. We live in a society that often elevates the entrepreneur who keeps going despite evidence to the contrary. For us, the decision was difficult and fraught with emotion, made easier only because we knew we would be able to sell both the business and the assets. That dream died three hours before our scheduled closing last week. I have so many questions, not the least of which is “Why?” and “What is the purpose of this?” We closed the business because it demanded something from our family we weren’t willing to give. And whether or not anyone else understands that doesn’t really matter. We have peace about what we left behind. I can’t say I haven’t struggled over the last month with the meaning of both success and failure. Ultimately, however, I came to the conclusion that when I get to the end of my life and plot the important points along the timeline of my journey, this experience will be just that—a dot on the page—something we tried and did and learned from and ultimately left behind.

For what?

That remains to be seen. To say I’m a bit emotional is an understatement.

Fun Fact: The Spanish word for emotional is not EMOCIONADA. That word actually means EXCITED.

And it IS exciting to start something new. Yo estoy emocionada! (I am excited!)

Do you agree? If so, let’s take a journey toward “better” together.