Choosing not to See is Still a Choice

The end of the year is always a stressful time. There’s just A LOT to do, and most of it is fun stuff—field days and awards day and parties galore. I’m all about a good party!

But it can also be stressful. I check and double check and triple check my calendar every single day because I don’t want to miss anything. I’m trying to find the perfect present for the graduates in my life, and also I realize just how lazy I’ve become. Meal planning has gone out the window. I’m keeping up with the laundry and even folding it, but could someone else please put it all away?

I’m a little overwhelmed with all that needs to be done before school’s out and summer officially begins.

My husband says I can tune out anything.

When the kids were little and we ‘d go on vacation, I’d sit in the passenger seat and read books while the littles took aim at each other in the back of the minivan.

Gavin would say, “Why aren’t you helping? Can you do something about the noise coming from the backseat?”

I’d casually look up from my book, and say, “What? It’s not bothering me.”

And it wasn’t.

I’d go right on reading. Or gazing out the window. Or even sleeping.

But is it possible to be so hyper-focused on something that you lose sight of what really matters?

Lately I’ve been so focused on not missing anything that I ended up missing something that was right in front of me.

That something was big.

And hairy.

With beady little eyes.

And pointy teeth.

Plus, he probably had rabies.

There was a possum in our living room.

And I totally missed it.

While I was hyper focused on all the things I needed to get done the next day, I missed the little furball creeping up the stairs from the basement, walking across my living room rug, even crouching in the corner waiting for me to go to bed.

Oblivious, I was awakened three hours later when my night owl 17- year old son came bursting into our room yelling,

There’s a possum in the living room!

Trust me—that is not a phrase you want to hear in the middle of the night.

The thing is as I was sitting there typing away on my computer last night I actually DID hear something creeping up the stairs. It sounded suspicious, but since I have two dogs and neither of them made a move, I thought, “What the heck? It’s probably nothing. And if it IS something…well, I don’t want to know.”

You’re probably thinking this could never happen to you. Believe me—I never thought I would end up with a possum in my living room either!

But since this did happen to me, it’s got me thinking, “What else am I CHOOSING not to see right now?”

In my home?
In my relationships?
In my kids?
In my work?
In my hobbies?
In my LIFE?

To choose is to be both willful and deliberate.

Open your eyes and choose TO SEE.

P.S. All’s well that ends well. A certain frying pan and laundry basket may never be the same again. But the possum was safely deposited back in the front yard. (Unless there was an owl who WAS choosing to see—lucky guy—he got dinner last night!)

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“There’s a possum in the living room.”

That’s a sentence that’ll wake you right up.

And it did wake us up. Last night. When there was an actual possum in our living room.

I had been in the living room all night, typing away on my computer. I thought I heard something walking up the stairs, but since the dogs didn’t bark, I dismissed the tapping and creaking and continued what I was doing.

I turned off the lights, straightened the pillows on the couch, and went upstairs to bed.

Three hours later:

“There’s a possum in the living room.”

I’ll tell you right now. That possum is lucky he was discovered by my night-owl 17 year-old son and not by me creeping down the stairs in the dark at 5:00 AM .

Spoiler alert: We got the little varmint outside with a laundry basket and a frying pan.

Mission Driven Monday--Monica Lage

Meet Monica Lage!

What started as a senior project grew to be one of the premier entrepreneur camps in the country.

Meet Monica Lage, the founder of Break Into Business, where kids move from idea to pitch to profitable business in just five short days. Monica says launching Break Into Business and being present for her children is the hardest thing she's ever done. (And this is coming from a person who has an MBA from Harvard!) She makes it look easy, but don't be fooled--Monica has worked VERY, VERY hard.

One of the things I love most about the Break Into Business business model is its emphasis on generosity. That's a core value of Monica's, too, and it shines through loud and clear. Monica is following her mission, not the madness, and inspiring hundreds of kids along the way.

In THIS interview, Monica confesses that she's learning how to be INefficient. What? You'll have to watch to find out what she means.

Want to learn more about how your kid can be a part of Break Into Business? Click here!

If you have a child between the ages of 9-14 and live in the Atlanta area, this is a summer camp worth exploring!

Kids build real businesses and have the chance to earn real money. And this summer is extra special—camps just for GIRLS and even a camp for kids who want to learn more about SOCIAL ENTREPRENEURSHIP are available. Campers also have the opportunity to sign up for one of Break Into Business’s fall accelerator programs. USE CODE GIRLBOSS FOR $30 OFF GIRLS CAMP THROUGH 5/17/2019.

My own son participated in camp for four straight summers and loved every minute of it. He loved hanging out in Atlanta’s coolest co-working spaces, pitching his business, and coming home with cold, hard cash in his hands. I am a thoroughly satisfied customer and recommend B. Camp without reservation!

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The Best Answer to "What Are You Going to Do With Your Life?"

My daughter was so stressed out in high school. Not because the coursework was too hard or because the peer pressure was too much, but because no sooner did she say, “i’m a Freshman,” that invariably the next question out of someone’s mouth would be, “So have you started thinking about where you want to go to college?” Now she’s a freshman in college, and everywhere she goes, someone asks, “So what do you want to do when you graduate?”

Did YOU know what you wanted to do when you were a freshman in college?

There’s a lot of people who have stories about being in kindergarten and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they wanted to be a doctor or a teacher. They grew up and did the thing they dreamed of doing all their lives. But people like that are rare. And some of them found out AFTER going to college (after internships and clinicals and student teaching) that those careers weren’t right for them after all.

I can almost see my daughter’s jaw tense and shoulders slump when someone asks her this question. I totally get it because even as a 45 year old, I hate it when people ask me what I want to do. (I should know by now, right?)

Luckily, my husband has come up with a great answer:

“You know, I really don’t know what I want to do yet. I’m trying to focus on the person I want to become, so I’m taking classes in leadership and business as I prepare for what’s next.”

Don’t you just love that? Wouldn’t it be great if we all could focus more on the person we want to become rather than the thing we want to do?

On my way to where I am today, I worked as a trainer in a gym, a receptionist for a Chiropractor, the Member Services Director for a trade association, a consultant for for a developer, a researcher for an author, and dozens of volunteer positions in schools, hospices, churches, homeless shelters and other nonprofits. I’ve built my own nonprofit from scratch, written a children’s book, led book clubs and adventure clubs, and been a room parent and a team parent and all those things prepared me not only for what I’m doing now but for who I am becoming.

I feel like I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove that my work mattered. I’m tired of proving myself. I’ll never lead a Fortune 500 company or be a board room dynamo. No one is going to nominate me for a prestigious alumnae award, but I’m proud of the life I’ve built. It has to be enough—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

The next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to say, “I study and write about character and leadership as I prepare for what’s next.”

And what’s that?

I don’t know yet, but I love the adventure of becoming me.

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Mission Driven Monday--Kitti Murray

Meet Kitti Murray!

“Can we have coffee?”

We hear this phrase so much, it's become a bit of a cliche. Coffee is the conduit that supercharges so many new relationships. For Kitti Murray, the connection between good coffee and good stories became the impetus for the dream of a lifetime. She's the founder of Refuge Coffee, the most welcoming place on earth, in the city that's been described as the most diverse square mile in America. Where bigotry and hate and prejudice might have found a foothold, instead neighbors find shelter and love and support. Refuge provides a living wage to a dozen employees. That original question: "What if?" was answered with a resounding, "Yes, we can."

I've had a chance to experience Refuge Coffee firsthand, and if you ever find yourself in Atlanta, I hope you will too. Our differences make us beautiful and our shared stories create connections that cannot be broken. Thank you, Kitti, for following your mission, not the madness.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

— James 1:27

Important Links from this Episode:

Refuge Coffee

The Grit and Grace Project

Giant Worldwide Leadership Coaching

Enneagram

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Finish strong TODAY.

You Can REST, but You Can't QUIT

There’s nothing like the month of May to remind you how tired you are. Moms and kids alike are counting down the days until school is out and dropping the ball on all sorts of stuff. You may remember this blog post by Jen Hatmaker that went viral a few years ago:

A few weeks ago, I forgot to take my son to church. The church we’ve been attending every single Sunday for the last ten years. The church where my husband is the actual pastor. That church. As I was getting off the exit, Aaron called me and said, “Forgetting someone?”

Whoops.

In my defense, I normally drive two kids to church on Sunday, and since my younger daughter had a friend spend the night the night before, I did have two kids in the car—one was mine, and one was our neighbor.

So yeah, I forget someone. And I didn’t even have time to go back home and get him.

Two weeks after that, I forgot about a club meeting being hosted at my house. I might have begun thinking I was in the early stages of Alzheimers, but since my co-leader forgot about the meeting too, and she’s nearly a decade younger than me, I didn’t feel so bad.

We’re all in this together, folks.

May is filled wth sports tournaments, dances, end of year parties, and tests. Our brains are TIRED.

I was behind a bus on my way home from a meeting yesterday afternoon, and I counted 17 kids who all exited the bus while staring down at their phones. They were zombies.

But who could blame them? If I wasn’t the one driving, I probably would have been staring at my phone too! And truly, I do find myself zoning out at the end of everyday. It’s a conscious effort to keep going.

(This is the quote that hangs in my daughter’s room. She’s a runner.)

“Unless you puke, faint, or die KEEP GOING.”

— Jillian Michaels

I don’t want to wish away May. It’s a beautiful month. We’ve finally said goodbye to winter. The grass is green, the trees are filled with leaves, and warm weather greets us every morning. The key to having an awesome May is the key to every busy season: PREPARATION.

In September, I know that May is going to be busy. This should not be a surprise. I have a calendar. I know what sports my kids’ play. I know there will banquets and teacher appreciation and graduation parties. I know all of this MONTHS in advance. None of it should take me by surprise.

1) Begin stocking the gift closet after Christmas or at least take notes on things you see that would make great gifts. These are some of my favorite go-to gifts for graduates: You can purchase this or this and it will be here in two days. And of course, cash is always appreciated. No advance planning necessary.

2) Plan easy meals: My kid-friendly favorites are these Ham & Cheese Party Sandwiches, Homemade Pizzas, or anything that uses a grocery store rotisserie chicken (Chicken & Noodles, Chicken Tacos, Broccoli Rice)

3) Remember to exercise. This is the one thing you’ll be tempted to drop immediately. After all, who has time to exercise? I say, who has time not to? I love to work out in the morning, but during this season, I realized I just couldn’t do that every day. On the days I can, I do, but on the days that are just too busy I settle for running up to my gym while my daughter is at dance. I can only get in 30-40 minutes, but that’s enough time to do what I need to do. Plus, I don’t feel guilty about wasting time in the car or resentful because I didn’t get to exercise at all. If all else fails, just take the dogs for an extra lap down the street. That’s all it takes—a little bit extra and you’ll feel great.

4) Schedule a day to spend time with friends. There’s a lot to celebrate, but in May it’s almost never about you. Even Mother’s Day comes with pressure to honor our own parents and grandparents and spend time with our children. It’s lovely, of course, but celebrations are important for morale. They give us hope and remind us that we have friends and purpose, and that life is fun. Grab coffee with a friend, go for a walk together, see a movie while the kids are in school. (I did this today and lingered an hour longer than I probably should have, and I don’t regret it for one second.)

5) This post is about rest. It’s about taking a break for a moment when what really sounds good is taking a break forever. As the school year draws to a close and the kids are cleaning out their desks and throwing out all their old papers, think about how you can implement this same ritual at home. This is a great time for you to take a personal inventory of all the things you really don’t need anymore (Say goodbye to all the yucky water bottles and lunch boxes. Say goodbye to all those papers you’ve been saving just in case.). Get rid of the stuff you can see, and then get rid of the stuff on your calendar. What do you want to continue? What is coming to a natural end? What makes you feel alive?

Enjoy your summer, and we’ll talk about next year in August.

See you soon!

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Mission Driven Monday--Kim Gentry Meyer

Meet Kim Gentry Meyer!

Kim Meyer is an accomplished singer and songwriter with a passion for animal welfare. She's channeling her creativity and love for animals into a brand new project aimed at helping kids understand how to better care for animals. Kim is partnering with a children’s book author to write an accompanying soundtrack full of songs about animals. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Kim is living the dream alongside her husband, Adam, in Boston, MA. In this conversation, we explore how you don't have to be the BEST at one thing as long as you can be PRETTY GOOD at two or three different things. "Use all you have," is a motto we won't soon forget. Thanks for following your mission, Kim!

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’
”

— Erma Bombeck

Important Links from this Episode:

Animal Welfare Work: What Baxter Started

Kim’s Music:

Connect with Kim: Instagram Handle and Facebook

whatbaxterstarted.com and https://www.facebook.com/whatbaxterstarted/

The children's songs she wrote for the two books will be available at this site: https://petpunditpublishing.com/. The website is currently being redone, but they will be up soon. Stay tuned!

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Why You Must Set Goals in Order to Succeed

Insecurity and uncertainty are significant sources of organizational stress.

They are also significant sources of life stress. You don’t have to work at a 9-5 to feel insecure and uncertain. In fact, if you don’t have a regular job you might feel even more insecure and uncertain than the guy who has an office job.

Setting goals is an important part of daily satisfaction.

Even if you aren’t the CEO, even if you don’t work in an actual office, and even if the only people you think are counting on you are the kind that can barely count to ten, setting goals and achieving them make us feel successful and strong in our chosen line of work.

SETTING GOALS IS NOT:

• Setting goals is NOT a to-do list (although you will most assuredly have some to-dos to get done).

• Setting goals is NOT about productivity (although you will be more productive).

• Setting goals is NOT a competition (unless you’re the type of person that likes to be competitive with yourself).

I haven’t worked in a “real” office in nearly twenty years, but every month I meet with an accountability partner to ensure I’m setting and meeting my goals.

We used to tick off our wins, challenges, take-aways, and goals, but last month we broke out a new template that addresses the things we care about in a more wholistic way. You can download the worksheet we use here or simply start out by writing down your plan for each of the growth areas listed below:

• Career

• Self Growth

• Social

• Physical

• One Word Focus:

• Quote of the Week:

Knowing I have a scheduled meeting every single month at the same time means I have to allot time for each of the activities I’ve said are important. I don’t want to meet with Jen and have to tell her I didn’t do anything on my list. When I meet my goals, she is inspired, and when she meets hers, I’m equally stoked. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be writing these blog posts every week, I wouldn’t have been so consistent with Mission Driven Monday, and I don’t think I would have had the foresight or drive to dream up any of the 52 week series I’ve been working on. (You can download the DREAM BIG series here.)

Jen asks me hard questions, forces me to write down exactly what I want to achieve, and encourages me to nail down the steps I need to take to get there. Even when it looks like I’m not doing anything, all I have to do is look back at that piece of paper where I wrote down my goals for the month and see that yes, I actually do have a plan for my life.

Want to be more productive?
More accountable?
Overcome your procrastination?
And achieve more?

Start with the one-week goal setting worksheet and find a partner that’s not afraid to ask, “Hey, did you do it?” And if you’re really, really lucky, you’ll find not just one partner but a whole network of people who are brave enough to ask the most important question of all:

How can I help?

If you’re ready to take it to the next level, I’ve got a treat for you!

Mission Driven Monday--Sarah Sasson

Meet Sarah Sasson!

Are you a risk taker?

That was the question I asked Sarah Sasson, Founder/Executive Director of Kula Project, an organization that provides industry training, business investment, and life and leadership skills in Rwanda. When I first met Sarah, she was a jet-setting woman on-the-go, with one foot firmly planted here in the United States and one straddling the ocean and chasing her heart to the faraway beauty of Rwanda, Africa.

Today, the incredible fellows of Kula Project are building profitable businesses, raising healthy families, and sending their children to school. It didn’t happen overnight, but rather over many, many years of fostering strong relational ties and empowering leaders—young and old alike.

In this episode, Sarah and I talk about the highs and lows of running a nonprofit, celebrating wins, and enjoying hobbies that have their own measurable results. I asked Sarah if she was a risk taker because I've always felt like she was a girl who knew how to take adventure to the nth degree. You know what? She's just like you and me. She's following her mission, not the madness, and that has made all the difference in the world.

Important links from this episode:

Check out the beautiful photography on her site! You can even sponsor a budding entrepreneur. And if you’d like to buy some of the yummy coffee produced by the Kula fellows, you can do that here.

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It’s time to DREAM BIG!

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How Do I Know What I'm Supposed to Do With My Life?

Last week, I attended a magic show hosted by renowned magician, Peter Morrison. For a full hour, our party was mesmerized by sleight of hand tricks, mentalism, and illusion. Plus, Peter is an engaging personality with a twinkling eye and a winning smile. You can’t help but sit on the edge of your seat.

Between sets, he regaled us with personal stories of his journey as a magician. I was struck by this little tidbit: “I practiced 8-10 hours a day 7 days a week for five years.”

Wow!

Is there anything you love so much you’d be willing to practice 10 hours a day for five full years? I often say, “I wish I could” when I see somebody doing something cool, never stopping to think how long it probably took them to get there.

That means the thing you love has to become your job before it’s actually your job. And it’s not rocket science—you will get better at whatever you practice.

So here’s two important questions to ponder:

1. What’s the main thing that deserves your energy?

2. Can you narrow your brand to discover the things you do really well?

Knowing who you are and what you want is a lifelong process, but the magic is in the process.

It’s time to start practicing now.

Pursue not only what interests you, but also what you’re good at. And remember what Greg McKeown said about priorities in his book, Essentialism.

“Creating an essential intent is hard. It takes courage, insight, and foresight to see which activities and efforts will add up to your single highest point of contribution. It takes asking tough questions, making real trade-offs, and exercising serious discipline to cut out the competing priorities that distract us from our true intention. Yet it is worth the effort because only with real clarity of purpose can people, teams, and organizations fully mobilize and achieve something truly excellent”

— Greg McKeown, Essentialism

• Cultivate vulnerability. Believe it or not, this will actually give you more confidence!

• Practice direction-setting. A lot of people start out with good intentions. Direction, not intention, determines destination.

• Craft a process for the life you want. Be patient when it comes to the results. All rhythms also include seasons of rest. Be radically iterative through the process and you will find that you absolutely will improve over time.

“Who you are is continuously transforming through courageous creativity and a deep commitment to what you believe.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever love something enough to practice a full ten hours a day, and at this stage of life, I don’t have ten hours a day to devote to my one true love—but if I can find two or even five hours in a day, then that’s something worth pursuing.

What’s your thing?

Share in the comments below, and I’ll make a commitment to cheer you on!

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Mission Driven Monday--Amber Robinson

Meet Amber Robinson!

I met Amber at the Indiana Christian Writers Conference back in 2012. She was writing a book called Mercy Rising and working on a number of other projects. But she's not only a writer--she's a composer, pianist, and teacher, and her newest book, Piano Lessons for Kids, is making waves across the U.S. In this episode, we talk about Essentialism, Mission Statements, the lives we live, and the legacies we leave. I wish we lived in the same city because I know my life would be better if I could make time with Amber a regular part of it. Amber will inspire you to make music, create art, and just get out there and PLAY. Be like Amber and follow your mission, not the madness. I’m cheering for you!

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.”

— Booker T. Washington

Thinking Tree Books: This is an awesome resource! You’ve heard of home-schooling and un-schooling, but have you ever heard of FUN-schooling?

Mercy Rising: Simple Ways to Practice Justice and Compassion

Piano Lessons for Kids: Piano Lessons for Kids is the inventive book that unleashes a student’s imagination and love for music! This self-paced, 168-page book spans a semester or a school year, depending how often you visit the subject – once or multiple times in a week.

Adults need no prior musical training and are encouraged to learn right along with their kids. The audio/video materials make this possible.

Students will learn not just to read notes, but also to hear music, compose, and tell a story with the piano – all with songs they really want to play. Separating it from other method books and online programs.

This book – with essential audio/video instruction – solves the problem of having to purchase separate books for note reading, music theory, listening skills, and composing – it’s all here, in one book.

Essentialism: This book by Greg McKeown is THE BOMB, and if you’ve ever struggled with saying YES to too many things, this is the book to help you prioritize well.

The 90:90:1 Rule: For the next 90 days, devote the first 90 minutes of your work day to the one best opportunity in your life. Nothing else. Zero distractions. Just get that project done. Period.

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The Goal isn't Fame, it's Influence

I lead an adventure club for fourth and fifth grade girls. A few years ago, we asked one of our groups about their future plans. Some of the girls wanted to be things like teachers or doctors, but the overwhelming majority wanted to be something else: Famous. We’ve all heard the stories about how being famous isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—there’s the lack of privacy and the ongoing pressure to perform well, and the unwritten expectation that if you’re famous you also have a responsibility to be a good influence.

Famous icons like Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber, and Britney Spears have all had major and total public meltdowns. In public interviews, they often lament the crushing pressure fame has placed on them.

In an interview on The Today Show in October of 2017, Selena Gomez said: “You’re isolated. You’re being looked at. You’re being judged. I’m always trying to be nice.” She continued, “I want to be great. That’s genuinely who I am, deep down. But it just seemed pointless.” And in 2015, Justin Bieber said, “I was close to letting fame destroy me.” For years, musician and actress Demi Lovato has battled alcohol and drug addiction, self harm, and eating disorders, in addition to trying to manage Bipolar Disorder. When you’re famous, private battles happen on the public stage. She said, “I get mad. I get sad. I have all those emotions. But I just like to keep them to myself. I don't think my fans need to be bothered with if I'm mad or sad about something. I should just be concerned that they are keeping up with my music or I'm making them happy with my show.”

Regarding Britney Spears’s fame, an article in Vice.com said, “She didn't crumble in isolation or simply of her own volition; she overdosed on fame, and we were complicit in that. We made her the single most-watched human being on the planet and then, gleefully, watched as she nearly died from overexposure. We celebrated her ascent to celebrity and then punished her for attaining the very perfection we demand.”

Yikes.

Who wants to be famous if it means meltdown in any form you look at it?

Influence used to mean something. Influence, according to subject matter expert Dr. Karen Keller , is knowing yourself. “The world’s most influential people don’t merely change other’s behavior; they shift their mindsets.”

Here are some examples:

• In 1529, Sir John Harrington invented the flush toilet, something nearly everyone in the first world uses today. But before he did that, he was a writer who had a penchant for offending Queen Elizabeth I. We don’t remember him, but if it weren’t for him, maybe we’d all be covering our poo with pine straw like a common cat.

• Aristarchus was the first person to postulate that the earth revolved around the sun, a full 1700 years before Copernicus made his ideas famous.

• Sir Joseph Lister was a pioneer in antiseptic surgery. In fact, he’s the reason your surgeon washes his hands before and after contact with you and wears gloves during examinations.

• Shirley Chisholm paved the way for women in politics, becoming the first African American woman to serve in Congress and make a bid for the Presidency.

• Most people have heard of Amelia Earhart, but did you know Lillian Bland was the first woman to design, build, and fly an airplane?

• And while everyone has heard of Neil Armstrong, it was Margaret Hamilton who designed the software that navigated the Apollo spacecraft that took him to the moon. Fun fact: she coined the term “software engineering,” a title that’s usually held by men.

The lesson:

We don’t have to be famous to do great things. There’s a whole bunch of people you’ve probably never heard of who were incredibly influential. Influence and fame aren’t the same thing. Fame can make a person influential, but fame doesn’t necessarily follow influence. When we say we want fame, what we’re really saying is that we want to be recognized for our accomplishments, to be given a pat on the back for all the hard work, for the difference we’ve made. And sure, a pat on the back, more followers on Instagram, and more money would be nice. But what if the impact we make IS all the reinforcement we really need? You probably never heard of John Harrington, but just because you’ve never heard of him doesn’t make his contribution any less important. I encourage you to thank him as you take care of your daily business today.

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Mission Driven Monday--Roxanne Russell

Meet Roxanne Russell!

Roxanne is the Director of Digital Learning at Emory University and the Brains behind Full Tilt Ahead, an academic design studio based in Atlanta Georgia. She holds a Ph.D. in Instructional Technology and is truly one of the smartest people I know. In addition to her professional accomplishments, I admire Roxanne because she's one of the few people I know who has remained true to herself while pursuing relationships and career. I'm excited about a venture she's had in the works for over a decade: A digital program designed to help kids be better readers. And we all know what they say. "Readers are learners, and learners are leaders!" Be inspired today to follow your mission, not the madness. For Roxanne, that means helping kids turn screen time into reading time and thrive in the process. I love it!

Important Links from this Episode:

Read Ahead: A Literacy Breakthrough

Full Tilt Ahead: Academic Design Studio

Candler School of Theology at Emory University

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There's No Place Like Home: Discovering Your Heart's Desire

“‘I cannot understand why you should wish to leave this beautiful country and go back to the dry, gray place you call Kansas.’

’That is because you have no brains,’ answered the girl. ‘No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home.’

The Scarecrow sighed.”

— The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum

When I was in college in Indiana, I would sometimes come back home to Georgia on an airplane. The first such trip was right before Thanksgiving in the fall of 1992. I hadn’t been home since I left in early August, and although I loved college, I was also homesick—for a hot bath in a clean house, a hot meal cooked by my mom, and a hot date with my far-away, long distance boyfriend. As the plane descended over Atlanta, I first saw the pine trees, green towers dotting the foothills and then the city, and even before my feet touched the ground, I was instantly transported back to this place I loved.

Early April is a beautiful time to be home. The cherry blossoms and dogwoods are blooming, and I noticed little buds peeping out on all the other trees. Lawn mowers are beginning to buzz, and a few people have begun pressure washing their driveways and decks. Life is exploding all around us, and this week, we get to appreciate it. All of it.

In The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Scarecrow couldn’t understand why Dorothy would want to go back to a place that was dry and gray. He didn’t understand the places we love are never really about the places themselves. They are always about the people. Dorothy could overlook the deficiencies in Kansas because as they say “love covers over a multitude of sins,” be they agricultural or otherwise. (In Georgia this week, I’m overlooking the billowing clouds of yellow pollen swirling around me.)

Dorothy: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?
Glinda: You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.
Dorothy: I have?
Scarecrow: Then why didn't you tell her before?
Glinda: She wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.
Scarecrow: What have you learned, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Well, I—I think that it, that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em — and it's that — if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?
Glinda: That's all it is!
Scarecrow: But that's so easy! I should've thought of it for you -
Tin Man: I should have felt it in my heart -
Glinda: No, she had to find it out for herself. Now those magic slippers will take you home in two seconds!
Dorothy: Oh! Toto too?
Glinda: Toto too.
Dorothy: Now?
Glinda: Whenever you wish.
...
Glinda: Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, 'There's no place like home'.

It seems too easy, doesn’t it? Like the thing we really want couldn’t possibly be right in front of us. But what if it is? What if your peaceful, purposeful life is right here?

We live in an amazing time in history, in a world that’s more connected than it’s ever been before. I can talk to my sister-in-law in China instantly any time I want. And for free! My teenage son is in California (without parents!), but I can track him on my iPhone, and my husband is getting his doctorate in Ministry (he’s such a smarty pants!) right from his office desk.

It’s fun to go away and see new things. Truly, there is no substitute for experience, but never for one second think that your heart’s desire must be somewhere out there. It might be right in your own backyard.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

— Matthew 6:21

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Mission Driven Monday--Amber Humphries

Meet Amber Humphries!

The motto at Mission Driven Woman is "Follow your mission, not the madness." It's a joy to meet someone who is fully embracing her mission, and Amber's is "Peaceful Home, Adventurous Life." She is an entrepreneur, blogger, speaker, and singer/songwriter. Amber’s many talents have led her to embrace saying "no" to fear (she's a city girl turned mountain woman) and “yes” to inspiring and empowering women in all stages of life transition. Amber is thoughtful and wise. One of my favorite parts of this conversation was when we talked about success and what that looks like during different moments in our lives. Also, I love the idea of warring opposites, and it seems to be a common theme among the women I interview: Big and Small, Open and Closed, More and Less.

People often say to Amber, “Wow! You’re living your dream life!”

Her response—”Why aren’t YOU living your dream life?”

Fun fact: Amber and her husband composed our Forever We theme song, and Amber sings the lead vocals. You can listen to the song here.

Important Links from this Episode:

blog http://www.citymousemountainhouse.cominsta @citymousemountainhouse
music http://www.jaredandambermusic.cominsta @jaredandamber
health journey http://www.amberhumphries.cominsta @amberhumphries
lipstick: https://www.beautycounter.com/product/beautycounter-red

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Your Magical Staycation: Stay Home, Save Money, and Have Fun

We’re on Spring Break this week, and it seems like everybody I know is either at the beach or at Disney World. Except us. I’m not complaining. Home is my favorite place in the whole wide world. And besides, I’ve already been to Disney World, and the rumors are true—it’s every bit as magical as they say: The cast, the rides, even the lines. The magic is in the details.

But you know what’s NOT magical? The crowds, the prices, and the wait times. And depending on the season—the heat. If you weren’t already planning to go, maybe those four things alone have convinced you to SAVE YOUR MONEY and STAY HOME. I’m kidding (sort of), but if you do find yourself at home like me this Spring Break, there are some things you can do to make your staycation feel a little more magical.

When I was kid, I had lots of time to play. We didn’t need a fancy schedule because there was nothing to remember. Go to school. Come home. Do homework. Go outside and play. Repeat. These days, my kids have their own color coded tab on our family’s electronic calendar. When we have downtime, it takes them a couple of days to decompress. We can help them by jump-starting those creative juices with some ideas of our own.

Make It Monday:

Crafty moms, this is your day! I’m not that mom, but I can surf Pinterest like a boss, so you (yes you) are bound to find the perfect craft just by going straight there and typing in something like: “easy crafts for toddlers” or “easy crafts for teens” or “foolproof crafts for moms.” I’m not crafty, but I do like to cook, and sometimes I even let my kids help. My son wants to learn how to make sushi, so I bought a simple kit from Uncommon Goods. And my daughter likes to bake. We can crack eggs and whip cream all day. I found a simple recipe for chocolate croissants I can’t wait to share with some friends we’re planning to see this week!

 Try it Tuesday:

There are so many things to try! Does your town have a skate park? Load up the bikes and scooters and roller blades. My first and last time on roller blades I crashed into a car and ended up with a badly bruised tailbone. That was almost twenty years ago. Maybe it’s time for me to strap in and get ready for the ride of my life once again. The skate park has many flat areas, is fully enclosed, and is safely removed from the parking lot full of cars. If all else fails, I’m not too old to get on a razor big wheel and go to head-to-head with the local kindergarteners. This is my year to be brave and try new things!

 Water Wednesday:

Middle of summer? Great! A warm Spring day? Better than perfect! Spread a tarp in the middle of your grass, drag out the hose, and pour on the dish soap. The kids will have the time of their lives. The grass will be ruined, but I promise it will grow back. Middle of winter? Take a bath! You can read more on the perfect bath here. We have a huge tub in our master bathroom, and I never let the kids use it. They would think it was a real treat! Don’t have a bathtub? Don’t worry! My favorite part of going to the salon is having my hair washed. Wash the kids hair in the sink. It’s a wonderful relaxing experience. (Warning: They will beg you to do this every time!)

Thinking Thursday:

We live in Atlanta, so there are several great museums. My favorite is the Civil Rights Museum. The Jimmy Carter Presidential Library is also a fun outing. If I don’t want my kids to THINK they’re thinking, then I’ll take them someplace like the Sweet Auburn Market, a fantastic place filled with strange foods and exotic people. Want to stay home? Great! Your kids might think they hate documentaries, but there are lots of interesting ones. I used to make my son watch them as punishment for not getting his homework done, but an unexpected side effect was that he actually fell in love with them and even now is a bit of a history buff. (My current favorite is Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, about Fred Rogers, and you can find it on Amazon Prime Video.)

 Fun Friday or Friend Friday:

Surely your kids aren’t the ONLY ones who are home this week! Invite a friend to play (You need a break by now), but if you truly do feel like the zombie apocalypse has happened and took everybody you know with them to Zorp, then might I suggest a trip to a local assisted living or nursing home? There’s something truly magical about youth and vitality and when your kids share it with others, a beautiful thing happens. Take some treats (sugar free are great for those who have diabetes) and a fun game. We simply blew up a few balloons and purchased some cheap plastic paddles from the Dollar Tree. Our kids had a blast playing a modified version of Badminton/Tennis with their new friends.

You did it! You had a magical week, creating memories your kids will cherish forever. And it wasn’t too hard. You can do anything for five days. And I bet you didn’t even miss the long lines, greasy food, cramped hotel room, or endless car ride at all.

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Mission Driven Monday--Jenn Kenney

Meet Jenn Kenney!

Jenn is beautiful both inside and out. Her mama always told her to "leave people better than they found you." She is the director of a women-owned executive staffing firm, mom to four kids, and a popular speaker at local colleges--teaching students how to present themselves in the workforce and develop the soft skills needed for future success. I've always admired her bright smile and welcoming spirit.In this episode, you'll hear more about what she's learned through a lifetime of gratitude and optimism.

“We transfer what’s inside us to others. That’s why life is an inside game.”

Important Links from this Episode:

Jenn’s Company, Satori Source, a leading executive staffing firm.

Motivational Speaking and Other Resources for Success: Clearly Confident

Her Go-To Planner: The Daily Deposit

Kindness and Character and College Applications: Harvard University Report in The Washington Post

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Adaptability IS Creativity

Last night we had a bunch of fifth graders over for dinner. The table was loud and boisterous, with lots of joke-telling and talking over one another. Every girl wanted to be the center of attention. They are getting ready to go to middle school, so I guess they are already fighting for their place in the social hierarchy. They don’t know it yet, but it’s not the loudest, wittiest, or coolest who will ultimately prevail.

It’s the one who can adapt in the face of adversity.

I served dessert (a gooey brownie pudding cake with ice cream) and shooed them all outside.

Not five minutes later, the herd bounded back up the stairs. During a game of rainbow tag, one of the colors they were using fell down a deep hole and could not be retrieved. Everyone had an idea about how to get it out. All the ideas, including using a pair of kitchen tongs to reach into the hole, all came up short. The color was lost forever.

Game over.

Or was it?

1. They could remove a color on the other side of the yard, so that the colors would still be evenly distributed on both sides of the yard.

2. They could come up with another option for the lost color. (We have a craft bin full of supplies!)

3. They could play a different version of tag. (Trust me, there are about 100 to choose from!)

4. Or they could continuing arguing and blaming one another for dropping the color down the hole!

My daughter wailed, “This is why I hate having a bunch of people over! No one listens! This isn’t fun!”

So dramatic.

I used to think being creative and being good at art were the same thing. I thought all the people who could sing and dance and paint and draw got all the talent. It wasn’t until I became an adult and had to solve real world problems that I realized it’s not artistic ability but rather adaptability that contributes to genuine creativity. And creativity plus adaptability equals success. On the playground and in the boardroom.

“Adaptability,” I said calmly to my daughter. Her dark eyes bored into mine. She knew what I meant (because we’ve talked about this before). What could she do? She turned on her heels and walked back down the stairs.

All gifts must be cultivated, and creativity is no exception.

The girls at my house are leaders in their classrooms and on their sports teams. Their teachers love them. They help out with the younger kids, are often picked to spearhead service projects, and usually land extra privileges, like monitoring field day games, at the end of the year. When they all get together, however, everyone wants to be in charge. It can get a little chaotic. I’m a mom, not a referee. They’re not in preschool anymore. Pouting is not allowed. Instead, I want to teach them how to adapt when things don’t go their way.

Leadership isn’t about bossing people around, and creativity isn’t about being able to wield a crayon. They are learning how to do both in the context of play.

The girls stayed outside for two more hours. I don’t know if they continued their game of rainbow tag. But based on the way they looked when they came back inside, I’m guessing they found something to do with the remaining colors.

One bloody toe and a jammed bathroom door later, and everyone went home happy and tired.

I always knew play was good for the soul. There’s tons of research on that front. You can check it out here and here. Are you ensuring that your child can adapt to change? Are you?

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”

— Leon C. Megginson

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Mission Driven Monday--Brin Enterkin

Meet Brin Enterkin!

Brin is one of the most brilliant young leaders I have ever met. She’s more than 15 years my junior, but I wish I could sit across from her in a coffee shop and just take in all her wisdom. She knows how to build and transition organizations, she leads with authority and humility, and she cares deeply about the legacy she leaves behind, a rare trait in such a young woman.

Our conversation is long, but worth every minute! You will learn from Brin. You will be inspired by Brin. You will wish you lived in Boulder, CO, so you could accompany Brin on one of her famous board meeting hikes through the Colorado Rockies. Get out your journal because you’ll want to take notes on this one: Follow your mission, not the madness.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

— African Proverb

Important Links from this Episode:

The African Soup: Equipping Teachers, Engaging Students, Empowering Communities

The Watson Institute: Training ground for next generation innovators and social entrepreneurs

The Lion’s Thread: Dashing ties for a bold audience; “Look good, do good.”

Book: Mere Christianity

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What's Your Kryptonite? The One Thing That Can Derail Your Dreams

Dreams and Regret

Today, I was watching my younger son play soccer and I overheard two parents talking about college majors. One mom said her brother-in-law went to an acclaimed arts school and graduated with a major in Photography. His dream job was to become a photo journalist at National Geographic, but for the last 20 years he’s been working as a paramedic. “He never enjoyed taking photos of people,” she said. “And besides, you don’t exactly find international photojournalism jobs in the want ads.”

Twenty years! There’s a big difference between being a paramedic and a guy who takes pictures.

And his sister was right. You don’t find that kind of job in the want ads. In fact, usually the kind of job we aspire to isn’t found in the want-ads at all. And I don’t think I’ve had a newspaper subscription in the last 20 years, so do the want-ads even exist anymore?

This guy is probably a good paramedic, and he probably says he loves his job. Everyday is different, after all, and saving lives can be very rewarding, I’m sure, but if his dream is hanging out in the African jungle only to find himself forever navigating the urban jungle, I can only imagine the kind of regret and disappointment he feels.

How Kryptonite Works

Even if you’re not a fan of Superman, you’ve probably heard of kryptonite. You know it’s the one thing that strips Superman of all his super powers. I don’t know if I’m remembering old episodes from the 1950s or if this is just how I imagine it in my mind, but in the presence of Kryptonite, I see Superman falling to his knees, unable to move, barely able to speak, certainly bereft of his superhuman strength and his ability to see through walls and that sort of thing.

Sometimes people will talk about kryptonite like it’s a real thing and not something made up in comic books. We all have our own version of kryptonite, the thing that keeps us grounded and unable to move forward. I think the biggest one is predictability.

Choosing safety and security over adventure.
Choosing what’s predictable and profitable over what’s preferable.
Choosing what’s right here, right now over what could be.

Predictability is safe. It’s nice to know where that next paycheck is coming from.

Before the Kryptonite

Do you remember what it was like to be in college? Maybe you were like me, a little naive and a little nervous about the future. Back then, did you wish for a predictable life or an adventurous one?

No one told me I’d probably have to be the one to create the kind of life I really wanted. My dream job was unlikely either to be handed to me on a silver platter or waiting for me to discover in the want ads. So I built a resume based on all the things I had already done rather than the things that were preparing me for all the things I wanted to do…someday.

When I’m in the zone, far away from my kryptonite, I feel a lot like Superman. I can see through walls—or at least I feel like I have a leg up on overcoming the challenges in front of me. I have the bandwidth to outrun the figurative speeding bullets charging toward me, and the strength to tackle just about anything.

Note: There will always be roadblocks on the road to success. Please don’t allow the comfort of predictability be the thing that keeps you from trying something new.

When we do things the same way, at the same time, every single day, our brain begins to work without us even thinking. We don’t have to adjust or adapt. We just have to be. Just like fictional kryptonite keeps Superman from being able to use his superhuman strength, so we too, are paralyzed. I have never felt weaker than when I am doing repetitive work I don’t really care about.

Back when I was in college and I had all those big dreams, I had no idea that I was responsible for creating the life I wanted. I thought everybody just got an entry level job after graduation and then twenty years later-voila—they were promoted to VP level positions.

Sometimes that’s how it works. But not always.

If some UN-predictable things hadn’t happened, like getting rejected from medical school—TWICE—or getting pregnant with my first daughter, maybe I’d still be climbing the corporate ladder. But because something unexpected happened, I shifted my thinking and leaned in. I discovered new interests, pursued new adventures, and started volunteering and leading things that put me on a new path and toward a new definition of success.

Since kryptonite causes pain and paralysis, overcoming it is anything but easy. In every instance I’ve ever had of overcoming my personal kryptonite, (the dreaded predictability), I can honestly say that our family has benefited. I’ve met people who literally changed the trajectory of my life. I’ve been inspired by stories of life change. I’ve created and built things I never could have even imagined if I had remained stuck doing the same thing day in and day out.

What’s that saying?

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

— not Albert Einstein (although no one really knows who said this)

Don’t let predictability get you. Yes, it’s safe. Yes, it’s easy. But I can think of at least ten ways the paramedic could have begun his journey toward photo journalism. And while I want to be one of those positive people who says “It’s never too late,” the reality is for every year you put off a dream the road back to you becomes littered with hazards. Predictability becomes the easy, default moda operandi. Families, obligations, commitments, and stuff make going off-road difficult, if not impossible. When you’re young, you have less to lose and so it’s easy to take risks. Plus, your relative inexperience with predictability keeps you from becoming too comfortable.

Questions to Ponder:

What are you working on that you’re excited about right now?
What do you love about what you do?
How can you make this year better than last year?
What’s next for you? And what’s keeping you from making one honest-to-goodness change right now?

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Mission Driven Monday--Chelsea Sabo

Meet Chelsea Sabo!

Four years ago Chelsea Sabo said "yes" to a little boy she'd never met, a boy doctors told her had extensive hearing loss and brain damage and who would possibly never walk or talk. She said yes.” For the weekend. But not forever.

Cue the trumpets. This family is celebrating because now Chelsea is the loving and devoted mother of a 4 1/2 year old ball of energy named Tyler. He's a true medical miracle. Chelsea gets to be his mom, not only on weekends, but FOREVER.

She is also the founder and Executive Director of The Foster Care Alliance, an organization working to revolutionize how parents with kids at risk of being admitted to the foster care system are served. In this conversation, she talks all about how blessing after blessing has come from a simple desire to be used by God to make the world a better place for families that feel marginalized. This conversation has inspired me to make new friends, model new behaviors, and be more like Chelsea--she's following her mission, not the madness, and you can too!