work life balance

Flowers on Tuesdays

Who remembers the Must See TV of the late 80s/early 90s? During those years, one of my favorites was Cheers, the fictional show set in a real-life Boston-area bar. The series follows a group of locals who meet to drink, relax, and socialize.

It’s the place “where everybody knows your name.” Every town has one. In Woodstock, GA ours was the Copper Coin.

I say was because we closed our doors forever on September 3rd.

That day was bittersweet, and I still treasure the memories of it in my heart. Messages from friends poured in even as a line snaked out the door from open to close.

A few years ago, I read an article about actress Kirstie Alley, the female lead who begins managing the Cheers bar in Season 6. Some of you might remember that in real life Kirstie Alley battled a multitude of personal problems, including substance abuse. When she got clean, she made herself a promise:

She would spend as much money on fresh flowers for her house every week as she used to spend on drugs.

Just living is not enough....one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
— Hans Christian Andersen

I used to think that fresh flowers were a waste of money. They just don’t last very long, after all.

But that’s a dumb reason not to buy them.

We buy all kinds of things that don’t last very long.

In fact, my whole business was based on people buying something that can often be consumed in one big gulp.

Exhibit A: This 4 oz. cortado

Copper Coin Cortado

I have some friends who hate fresh flowers. When they get them, all they see is death. Ugh! Who wants to trim the stems? Change the water? Pick up the dropped petals from the table? Day by day, you watch them wilt only to finally toss them in the trash.

Trust me. That was me before Copper Coin.

Our flowers arrived every Tuesday.

Sometimes I would find that the previous week’s flowers had been moved to a ledge or the floor to make way for laptops and books.

Even so, as I set the new flowers on table after table, guests would look up from whatever they were doing, smile, and murmur thank you.

The flowers were such a small thing. Even now as I type this in an empty room, the flowers leftover from our last day are making me smile. They’re cheery and bright. And even though they don’t talk, their mere presence says, “Welcome back. I’m glad you’re here.”

Before Copper Coin, I never really thought about fresh flowers. I rarely bought them for my own house. Like I said, I too, used to think they were a big, fat waste. Flowers that lasted just a week seemed like a luxury I could easily forego.

But I already miss my Tuesday flowers.

The Tuesday flowers had a positive effect on our guests. I know this to be true because I saw it every week at Copper Coin: flowers boost mood and reduce stress. They foster contentment in a way only nature can.
No complaints here. Who wouldn’t want more contentment in their life?

As I transition into this new season in my own life, so many things feel out of control. In the last month, the coffee shop closed, my youngest child started high school, my dog died, and today, my younger son left for college in Barcelona.

Flowers on Tuesdays are one of the weekly practices I plan to carry into this scary in-between time fraught with change and uncertainty.

Agency over our own lives is a powerful motivator. When you don’t know what to do, think about the small, seemingly insignificant acts that that you can control.

I can buy flowers on Tuesdays.

Trader Joe’s carries an affordable, seasonal assortment, as does Costco. Both are close to my house. With flowers on my table and contentment in my heart, I’m one step closer to whatever the next step may be.

Here’s a question for you:
What’s one thing you’re doing to exercise more agency over your own chaotic life today?

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When You Love Your Lifestyle But Hate Your Life

Mature women everywhere…REJOICE!

I bet you never thought somebody would say that, did you?

But here’s what I love about getting older. Standard of living usually—(and I mean USUALLY)—increases as age increases.

And that’s pretty awesome: those larger paychecks make the “big” house, the boat, multiple vacations a year, and the fancy car possible.

But I’ve also discovered something disturbing:

A lot of people I know love their lifestyle and hate their life.

Impossible, but true.

And the thing is: I don’t even think they’re going to do anything about it!

When you’ve been around as long as I have, it’s easy to put things on autopilot. You tell yourself that the pension you’re going to get when you retire is worth the misery you’re experiencing now. I have a friend who’s committed to working twelve more years in a government job she finds boring and tedious. Twelve years! To turn her back now on that kind of future financial promise is a leap she just can’t make.

But is it worth it?

My husband is getting ready to leave his comfortable job to venture out on his own after 15 years working in a church. It’s a huge leap of faith, and I’m so proud of him because when he tells our friends about his hopes and dreams for his new career, I see the longing in their eyes. They wish they were the ones embarking on a new adventure!

I hear our friends say things like:

I’m too old to change careers.
Who’s going to hire me now?
What if I have to take a pay cut to do the thing I really want?
What will my family do without the consistency of a steady paycheck?

But can you afford not to?

If I were ask you what makes a fulfilling life, my guess is that almost all your answers would be things that are free or almost free. When you create more space and time in your life, you not only discover new opportunities waiting for you but also you find that you are more open and willing to accept them for what they are: not lucky circumstances, but real possibilities.

Love and relationships matter more than money and things.

We know this intrinsically, but we are afraid of the risk. As we get older, we’re not just responsible for ourselves. We have spouses and children who depend on us. We have mortgages and college tuition to pay. Some of us may even be caring for aging parents. The risks are real and anything but trivial.

And the reality is we like the house and the car and the vacations.

Our status symbols have become our status quo.

Depression is the leading cause of disability in the United States among people ages 15-44. It ranks among the top three workplace issues, along with family crisis and stress. (source) According to Fast Company Magazine, nearly 50% of six-figure salaried workers are plotting a job change this year. People are asking themselves, “What do I really want…for my family, from my job, in my life? The answer to those questions will have a direct impact on our future psychological and spiritual well-being.

My husband knew that the time was right to make a change. “If not now,” he said, “then when?” Even though we have two kids in college, five cars (because—teenagers!), a mortgage to pay, and kids in private school, we couldn’t keep putting off the decision. If we waited for the perfect time, we knew we would never make the leap. There would always be something tying us to where we are. He’s making the change because everything he’s done up until now has been preparing him for THIS. VERY. MOMENT.

You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and still feel empty.

What has God been preparing you to do?

Here are 5 things to consider as you ponder what’s next for you:

1) Often other people recognize our aptitudes before we do. Ask the people closest to you what gifts they see in you. Their answers might surprise you.

2) You don’t have to have your entire life journey planned out. Few people do. Life is organic, not linear. Be willing to explore new possibilities and the next right step will reveal itself.

3) Find a community that shares your values and inspires your ideas. I used to be a part of a cohort of entrepreneurs through an organization called Plywood People. I count the five years I spent with those women among the most growth-orienting years of my life. What I learned from them could not be replicated anywhere else.

4) Kids need their parents to model purpose and meaning, not privilege and entitlement. They can sense your restlessness. They know when you’re stressed. Show them what matters by doing work that counts.

5) Work on building wisdom, not a resume. There’s so much more to life than the work you do. No experience is ever wasted. Even if your job no longer challenges you in a way that makes you feel alive, you can still find ways to engage with the world.

In our family, we like to say that when the pain of staying is worse than the fear of change, it’s time to do something different. Sometimes you know what you have to do and you just do it. Sometimes, you need to take a breath and pray about it for a season. Sometimes, even with the best intentions in mind, it just doesn’t make sense to take that leap. And that’s okay. But if you’re being called to STAY, give your work the enthusiasm it craves and give your family the attention they deserve.

Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.—Dolly Parton

When my friend Melanie’s dad retired from his work as a veterinarian, he gave a charge to the employees, and this is what he said—(Melanie wrote them down, and I saved them)—

What is work? Just a platform for relationships. Whatever we do, people are involved on some front. It’s that interface that matters. Work is just the bridge that makes the connection to people. (Thank you, Mr. Rickard)

Wherever we are, we can all do that.

The best of you is yet to come!

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From Order to Disorder--The Way of the World

My one year-old nephew was visiting last week. While his mom took a call, I played with him in our living room, and I noticed something that seems pretty common with boys.

They are destructive!

If I stacked the blocks, he knocked them down.
If I lined up the cars all in a row, he scattered them.
If I put the plush toys in the crate, he fished them out and threw them on the floor.

By the end of the day, my living room looked like a war zone.

The scientific term is entropy— a gradual decline into disorder.

Interestingly, entropy is also known as the amount of energy unavailable for doing useful work.

It’s not just little boys who gravitate to a state of entropy.

We do it, too.

The bills pile up, the countertop connects clutter, the closet needs purging, and yet entropy trumps energy more often than I want to admit.

I get in my own way of doing useful work.

When I was in college, I thought my life was really complicated.
All those papers!
Exams!
Sorority meetings!
Roommate drama!

Then I got married, and learning how to do life with my soul mate made life even more complicated.

Then we had kids, and as you might have guessed—I discovered the real meaning of complicated. The family dynamic shifted each time we brought home a new baby. Our marriage, jobs, kids, and other obligations all fought for our attention, and like that stack of blocks in my living room, we didn’t always do a great job of keeping it all together.

As we get older, life doesn’t get easier. It just gets more complicated (and weirdly, also more expensive).

But also as I’ve gotten older I crave useful work. I need it.

But how do I make sure the energy for doing that work is available to me?

I’m a big fan of the THREE R’s—rituals, rhythms, and rest.
In fact, I’ve written about those three things here, here, here, and here.

But today I want to talk about something else….

And I know it seems counter-intuitive to add something to an already busy schedule in order to create more order in your life, but remember—we want to increase the energy available for doing useful work, and the the best way to do that is to do something that actually makes us feel energized.

Here’s How:

Get lost in a subject completely outside your scope of knowledge.

I’m reading a book called Buzz that’s all about bees, interesting to me because bees are responsible for nearly 1/3 of the foodstuffs we eat, and also for more than 350 of the 1,000 medical prescriptions cited in the 12th century Book of Medicines. I have no idea how I might apply what I’m learning about bees to future work, but a deep-dive into a subject in which I know so little is sure to spark creative output.

Schedule time to revitalize by doing something you’ve never done before.

Last week, I experienced a sound bath. Never heard of it? Let me explain—it was new to me, too! Essentially, a sound bath is a meditation class that guides you into a deep meditative state while surrounding you in ambient sound played by instructors who use instruments such as bowls, gongs, and cymbals. For a whole hour, I laid on my yoga mat in a warm room and just let the sound “wash” over me. It was glorious.

Meet with someone who inspires you, not because you need anything from them but because you love their company.

I used to be a part of a cohort of small business owners, but when I ended my business last year, I knew it was time to move on. For five years those women functioned as a lifeline for me, and I miss them! Today, I’m making a pact with myself to schedule a lunch with one or two of them. I love learning from people who are different from me in every way—stage of life, type of work, hobbies, or worldview.

Entropy will always play a role in our lives. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, creativity is often born from chaos.

Albert Einstein’s Desk on the day he died.

Albert Einstein’s Desk on the day he died.

See what I mean?

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The Homemaker's Dilemma

Is the Covid-19 pandemic the “biggest setback for women in decades?”

According to writer, Jessica Valenti, the answer is yes. She asserts that Covid-19 has assured that women are “forced back into the domestic sphere” and that “there’s no progress for women if we’re kept from the public sphere.” (Emphasis mine)

And this is the problem I’ve always had with feminism:

That women’s empowerment equals work outside the home, that we have continued to define our worth in terms of what it means to be a man. And what it means to be a man, evidently, is work that has nothing to do with kids, cooking, or cleaning.

As if escaping that particular domestic prison will somehow free us from years of virtual slavery. “We were made for more!” we chant. “We want equality!” we scream.

The truth is you were made for more, and equality is a worthy ambition.

Absolutely.
A hearty YES.
To all of it.

But before you throw aside “home,” let’s take a look at it from a different point of view.

G.K. Chesterton (who also has one of my favorite quotes about motherhood), said this about home:

“The place where babies are born, where men die, where the drama of mortal life is acted, is not an office or a shop or a bureau. It is something much smaller in size and much larger in scope. And while nobody would be such a fool as to pretend that it is the only place where people should work, or even the only place where women should work, it has a character of unity and universality that is not found in any of the fragmentary experiences of the division of labour.”

Home might be a humble place to be, but it is huge in the way that it shapes the human heart. In fact, home has often been described as the place we long for—more than where we’re from or where we lay our heads at night—it is the place that brings us the most joy.

The Beginning

And I think that’s why the very first thing God ever did—before he created Adam and Eve—was prepare a home for them. He made it both functional and beautiful, and it was all for them. And then maybe you noticed, too, in the New Testament, in the book of John that Jesus is described as the “Word made flesh who made his dwelling among us.” (John 1:14)

His dwelling!
In US!

And when John the Baptist’s disciples met Jesus for the first time, they said, “‘Rabbi, where are you staying?’
’Come,’ he replied, ‘and you will see.’
So they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent that day with him.” (John 1:38-39)

I hope that Covid-19 doesn’t prove to be the biggest setback for women in decades.

I hope that men do step up to the plate and pitch in. It truly does take a village to raise a child, and lately we’ve found our village shrinking, so all the moms, dads, brothers and sisters, are carrying a larger load than normal. I, too, have noticed that the division of labor is not equal.

YET.

But that doesn’t mean that we’re not getting there.

While the pandemic may set women back in terms of work outside the home, I do believe that inside the home, they are being appreciated more than ever before. Women were, are, and will continue to be the quintessential essential worker.

Hands down.

Women with side hustles and women who are building businesses once their children have reached school-age are doing everything they can to do to keep it together—and more. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we’re capable of so much more than we ever thought possible.

Remember that G.K. Chesterton quote about our homes? Here’s what he said about motherhood:

“How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe?
How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”

The Truth

I think the pandemic has given us all a chance to reflect on where we are and what we truly want our lives to look like. In fact, I have a friend who is a Vice President at a large national corporation. Before the pandemic she was often getting up at 5:00 AM and heading out on a plane for a week of meetings at various venues. Since March, she’s been working exclusively from home and hasn’t traveled at all. You know what she told me? She said that home has always been her safe place. She has always loved walking in the door after being gone all week. “I’m home,” she’d breathe as she crossed the threshold and her family embraced her. “Now,” she says, “I’m getting more sleep. I’m not exhausted all the time. I’m reading more books, and instead of spending free time planning for the next presentation, I’m exercising and making memories with my girls. I love being home. It’s the best place in the world.”

Perhaps one day soon she’ll be back on a plane. She’s a talented executive, after all, and her income allows their family some pretty sweet perks—like a backyard pool, private school, and several vacations a year.

But my friend knows that home is lovely, too.

And yet we continue to strive and climb and claw our way out of our comfortable homes in search of something—I don’t know what—as if we’re wasting our lives if we choose to do anything other than what’s commonly referred to as “men’s work.”

You want respect? Be proud of the world you’ve created for your family. Who says you’re wasting anything?

Instead of complaining about the unfair balance, what if instead you patted yourself on the back, because you know you’re not only capable but also thriving in this new world?

Men vs. Women

Study after study has shown that women are able to juggle more than men. They don’t compartmentalize ideas and tasks, but are more like a computer in that can keep many tabs open at once. With brains that are more symmetrical than those of men, the two sides are able to “talk” to one another. Additionally, women experience emotions on a deeper level, which is helpful in how women relate and respond to the myriad new challenges being thrown at us right now.

I wholeheartedly do agree with so many things about the women’s movement. I’m for equal pay for equal work, and I’m against discrimination and sexual harassment in the workplace.

But I often wonder—if values like homemaking, cooking, and caring for children were prized in society for what they really are—beautiful ways to honor our families and strengthen the ties that bind us—would more women endeavor to do it? If we gave homemaking the honor it deserves, would more women proudly declare their status as “just a mom”? Is the thing in us that makes us want more the very thing that makes us feel like we’re less?

The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else.
— Craig Groeschel

Please, just stop it.
Stop comparing yourself to men.

C.S. Lewis said,

If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

One day, you will enter a home that will satisfy all your earthly longings.

Until that day, my friend, keep going. You are doing a good work.

And we know that’s true because Jesus even said, “My father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2)

Home Sweet Home.

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6 Areas to Nurture

“I don’t want to be a different me; I just want to be a BETTER me!”

That’s the message I consistently hear from women. No one wants a different life or even to be a different person. We all just want to be BETTER versions of the people we already are.

So where do we begin?

Here, I think it would be helpful to direct our attention to six areas of focus. During different seasons, you may find that you are thriving in some areas and coming up short in others. In a perfect world, you would be happy and fulfilled on all six axes.

Let’s explore:

1) Spirituality: Our internal well-being

For some, spirituality is deeply connected to religion. For others, it’s all about aspiring to something bigger than ourselves. No matter how you define spirituality, it’s universal. This is also the one area that’s often the easiest to let go because prayer, meditation, and reflection not only take time, but also can be viewed as boring or worse—unproductive. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our sense of the Divine or of God is our connection to the source of creativity.

2) Exercise: physical activity carried out to improve health and fitness

The older you are, the more self-aware you probably are about this area of your life. “Are you getting enough exercise?” our doctor asks at our annual checkup. “Ummm…” we stammer and stutter. What is enough? Is it the amount we want to do? Feel capable of doing? Or is it the amount recommended for a person of our age and gender? No one really agrees on the right amount. Some people say 30 minutes of moderate exercise three times a week is enough to maintain cardiovascular health. For the purposes of this post, I believe it is the amount that makes you feel energetic and whole. Consistent exercise and clean eating are linked to productivity, sleep, and happiness, among other things. Ignoring your body isn’t just bad for your health, it’s bad for your life.

3) Play: Activities of recreation and enjoyment

Why is it that the things that brings us the most joy and that we find the most rewarding are the most elusive? Maybe it’s because even our kids barely have time these days for free play. We are overscheduled and overtired and overworked and overstimulated, and even though we are OVER IT, we find ourselves zoned out in a chair and staring at a screen at the end of every day. What if instead of saying, “I’m done!” we could say, “Let’s go have some fun!” A couple of weeks ago I bought a piñata, filled it with candy, and bashed the be-jesus out of it just for fun. Last weekend, my husband and I tried axe throwing at a friend’s party, and it was satisfyingly cathartic. Make time for play—it’s worth the work!

Speaking of Work…

4) Work: Both paid and unpaid experiences for a purpose

Speaking of work, it’s time to have a little heart-to-heart. Humans were made for work. It is closely tied to our identity and our worth—and I don’t just mean our net worth. Our work is a manifestation of those things we find worthwhile. Because work is so closely tied to who we are, our place in society, and how others view us, we tend to assign great weight to the work we do. It is our calling. We are compelled. People depend on us. We have something to prove. And prove it we will! I would encourage you not to find your identity in your work, but rather to let the work flow from your identity.

5) Friendships: Our relationships

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
— C.S. Lewis

My youngest daughter and her best friend have known each other since they were both just a year old. I have pictures of them carpooling home from preschool, side-by-side in their little car seats, holding hands across the aisle of my old mini van. Now they’re in middle school, and they go to different schools. We are getting ready to move to a different town, not too far away, but still—I am in my 40s and I know the pain of saying goodbye to dear friends. I also know the pain of friendships that fade due to variations in place or convenience. We were built for connection. You can count your friends on social media, but can you count on them? Will they be the ones to stand by you when it really counts? Fostering friendships, like anything that’s worthwhile, takes work. How you spend time with the people you care about probably looks different than it did in your twenties. No more bar-hopping at 3 AM. But maybe, like me, you’re totally up for a cup of coffee after the kids get off the bus at 3 PM.

And here’s a bonus for those with a significant other:

6) Romance/Adventure: mystery in love and life

If you’re lucky enough to have found “the one,” you are lucky indeed! This person usually gets both the best of us and worst of us. When the other five things on this list are jiving, I think it’s easier to make romance work. When something feels “off,” we tend to shun romance and adventure in favor of more egocentric activities (like binge-watching Netflix and day drinking). I have a few recommendations: The Love or Work podcast and the Lasting app (couple’s counseling right from your phone, right from home). Also, sometimes, the easiest thing to do—and one of the most effective—is simply to spend time together—EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO. You don’t even have to do anything fancy. Right now, my true love and I are on “The Great American Taco Hunt.” Date nights are easy and cheap. We feel like we’re doing something fun every week when the reality is we’re just getting a bite to eat. We have to eat anyway!

Adventure, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

And I think that’s one of the things I love most about the human experience.

Every day is like the Choose Your Own Adventure books from our childhood. We get to decide what we’re going to do right now and we get to decide what we’re going to do tomorrow.

If you want to be a Better You, you have to decide what that looks like.

Ready to take it to the next level?

Your Job is not the Problem--You Just Didn't Know it Was Work

One of the best icebreaker questions I ever heard was, “Tell me about your first job.”

Our first job not only teaches us a lot about ourselves, but also prepares us for future work.

The very first job I ever had out of college was as a fitness consultant in a Ladies Only gym. Newly married with a degree in Biology, a passion for exercise, and aspirations of medical school, I thought I had found the perfect job.

Spoiler alert: that job had almost nothing to do with health and wellness and almost everything to do with high pressure sales techniques.

I haven’t had a real job in nearly twenty years. But my life has been filled with purposeful work.

In this post, I’ll show you how the way you work in every job is a clue to the real work you’re meant to do.

Problem solving, and I don’t mean algebra, seems to be my life’s work. Maybe it’s everyone’s life’s work.
— Beverly Cleary, Children's Book Author

Oh, I do believe it is everyone’s life’s work!

For the past five years I’ve been a part of an Atlanta nonprofit called Plywood People. They have a motto I’ve adopted as my own: “We will be known by the problems we solve.”

Being known.

Those two words by themselves can be really scary.

We want to be known and yet we want to remain anonymous.
We want people to understand us but we want to retain an element of mystery.

And over the past year, on Mission Driven Monday, I ask women this final question: “Can you tell me about your aspirational self?” That question is essentially, “What do you want to be known for?” The answers vary, but one thing remains consistent: all the women want to be a part of something bigger than themselves. When they talk about work, it’s in the context of the values they uphold.

We all want to do work that matters.

Even if you don’t believe in legacies you have one. And you get to choose what you want that legacy to be.

I interact with lots of women caught between the threshold of having babies and raising kids. It’s important work, but sometimes I hear the longing in their voices, the shy whispers that “one day” they’ll go back to work, that their education “won’t be wasted,” that this is “just a season” and that “real life” can begin again “when the kids are all grown up.”

What are you waiting for?

When I was a young mom, I couldn’t even imagine a day when I didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night or change a diaper. I felt like I would always have someone at home and that I would always be a servant to someone else’s needs. And yet here I am, with one child out of the nest for good, one with one foot already out the door, and two more squarely in the throes of middle and high school. I will blink, and they too, will be gone.

No one ever told me that I could find intellectual fulfillment in the expression of who I was apart from paid work. I had always thought that the job I got paid to do and the work I was meant to do had to be the same thing. It wasn’t until I became a mother and set aside my so-called career that I discovered on my own what it means to live life within the context of a larger story.

Young moms tend to think that all that time spent at home is like putting a sweater on hold at Anthropologie. You’ll pick up where you left off—when you’re ready. The sweater won’t wait for you, and neither will the job. You could spend the in-between contemplating whether or not you actually need the sweater or whether or not it makes sense to invest in something so seasonal and trendy. Maybe after you’ve walked around for awhile you’ll discover you don’t really want that sweater anymore.

The Tension

Our lives are not sweaters to place on a shelf. And a job isn’t just a job. For some, a job defines who we are, even though we know deep down that we are not what we do. “But if that’s true”, we wonder privately, “then why does everybody I meet keep asking me about work?”

How can we place “the job” on hold and still participate in work that’s fulfilling?

I remember someone telling me once that they never answer that question about jobs with a one word answer of their own. For example, when my friend is asked, “What do you do?” she says something like, “I inspire small children to aspire to a lifetime of curiosity.”

Ooohhh, tell me more about that.

Is my friend a teacher? A therapist? A children’s museum director?
Or is she just a mom?

A job is simply the expression of our work, so while jobs come and go, the expression of ourselves within that job is the real clue to the person we are meant to become. I wish I had known that when I was a 22-year old fitness consultant biding my time and waiting for my real break. I would have discovered that the part of my job that made me feel most alive was when I was learning something new or when I had a chance to hear transformation stories from clients one-on-one.

If you’re wondering about the work you’re meant to do, I recommend checking out The Good Life Project. Jonathan Fields developed an incredible tool called Sparketype that helps you identify the work you’re meant to do. Once you’ve taken the test, I’d love to know what you learn about yourself! Leave a comment, and let’s chat.

Bonus:

There’s a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s one of those books that comes up constantly in creative circles, but until now, I’d never read it. Let me tell you—YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK. I’m only three weeks into what feels like a 12 step program to unlocking creativity, and it’s the first time in a long time that I’ve felt freedom to explore the artist within. One of the activities in that book is to write down your Imaginary Lives, those dream jobs you would do IF ONLY you had the education, training, experience, and connections to make them a reality. Two of my imaginary lives include Professional Tap Dancer and TV Chef. I will never be either one of those things in real life, but I can live my best life now by either taking an adult tap class (which I did a few years ago with some of my best friends and we had the best time) and by pretending that I have my own show and hosting demonstrations in my own house with my own kids (Fun Fact: One time I did get to cook on the Food Network, and it’s all because I believed I could when I was at home). When we give ourselves permission to imagine, what we’re really doing is giving ourselves the space to practice and discover new ways of making our dreams come true.

So whether I’m at home with my kids in my kitchen or volunteering in my community, the expression of who I am is front and center.

  1. Live your best life now. If you could be anything, what would you choose to do? How can you bring the best of that life into the life you have now? Is it a class you need to take, a party you need to host, a book you need to read, or an organization you need to to support?

  2. Identify your “why.” Think about that very first job. For example: Why did you want to work in healthcare in the first place? What do you love about marketing? How can you use your passion for systems and organization in a fresh new way? I thought I wanted to be a doctor. When motherhood came calling and asked me to postpone medical school, I shelved that dream and decided to become a certified doula. It gave me the patient interaction I craved, allowed me to work alongside real doctors and nurses in a hospital setting, and provided valuable practice scenarios for things like honing my bedside manner and researching the challenges and tensions facing healthcare practitioners today. Becoming a doula was just one of many opportunities I was able to cling to when my kids were little. As they got older, I realized I was finding fulfillment in a wide range of creative pursuits. I no longer needed to become a doctor to feel like I was adding value to the world.

  3. Your job is what you do. Your work is who you are. Learn the difference, and you’ll be able to find joy in both the mundane and the magnificent. Think about how you can describe the work you do in in a fresh new way.

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Follow your mission, not the madness!







Mission Driven Monday--Julie McKevitt

Meet Julie McKevitt!

Have you ever wondered if your heart was big enough to welcome a child into the world? What about a second one? Have you ever wondered if you could make space for a new opportunity when the one that’s right in front of you is practically perfect in every way? Have you ever wondered if you have the courage to forge a new way?

Artist. Entrepreneur. Mother. And social activist.

Julie McKevitt paints the world with kindness and invites others to do the same. In this episode, we talk about staying grounded even while dreaming big and how sometimes the hardest won battles are those between husband and wife. This is a story about BECOMING. Join us and follow your mission, not the madness.

Important Links from this Episode:

Paint Love: Extraordinary arts programming for youth facing poverty and trauma

Julie’s Instagram: Follow the Kindness Day journey

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Mission Driven Monday--Jen Guynn

Meet Jen Guynn!

Everybody wants their kids to care about their community, but not everybody knows where to start! How do you find the projects that include families and allow KIDS to be a part of the process? Kids love to play and they love to help. Guess what? There’s a place for them!

Because my husband works at a church, and I’ve been leading an adventure club for girls for the last five years, people are always asking ME how they can get their kids involved in service. I’m not the expert, but I know someone who is, and here’s what I tell them—Check out Pebble Tossers! They are the leading platform for kids to find the opportunities and resources that will fuel their leadership skills for a lifetime.

In this conversation, Jen and I talk about proudest accomplishments, how we’re practicing mindfulness in this new season, and future dreams. The world is full of incredible opportunities—somebody needs to seize them!

Important Links from this Episode:

Pebbletossers—Start a ripple of giving! Their mission is to empower and equip youth to lead through service. Ahhh…don’t you just love that?

Plywood Presents—Get your tickets now—ATL Ideas! A festival of all things good!

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Mission Driven Monday--Amber Pert

Meet Amber Pert!

Amber Pert helps turn young dreamers into real-life doers. Her Navigator book series chronicles how leaders across a range of disciplines built their brands. Amber is passionate about purpose, and she brings it to life through the inspiring words she shares with young leaders. I loved hearing about her vision for the future because kids truly ARE our future. Experience is a great teacher, but for young people--learning from the experiences of others is EVEN BETTER. Follow your mission, not the madness.

Important Links from this Episode:

Wellspring Crew—Information and Navigator Book Series

Book she recommends: Measure What Matters

And a book I recommend: Barking to the Choir by Father Gregory Boyle

Millennials and Money

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You Can REST, but You Can't QUIT

There’s nothing like the month of May to remind you how tired you are. Moms and kids alike are counting down the days until school is out and dropping the ball on all sorts of stuff. You may remember this blog post by Jen Hatmaker that went viral a few years ago:

A few weeks ago, I forgot to take my son to church. The church we’ve been attending every single Sunday for the last ten years. The church where my husband is the actual pastor. That church. As I was getting off the exit, Aaron called me and said, “Forgetting someone?”

Whoops.

In my defense, I normally drive two kids to church on Sunday, and since my younger daughter had a friend spend the night the night before, I did have two kids in the car—one was mine, and one was our neighbor.

So yeah, I forget someone. And I didn’t even have time to go back home and get him.

Two weeks after that, I forgot about a club meeting being hosted at my house. I might have begun thinking I was in the early stages of Alzheimers, but since my co-leader forgot about the meeting too, and she’s nearly a decade younger than me, I didn’t feel so bad.

We’re all in this together, folks.

May is filled wth sports tournaments, dances, end of year parties, and tests. Our brains are TIRED.

I was behind a bus on my way home from a meeting yesterday afternoon, and I counted 17 kids who all exited the bus while staring down at their phones. They were zombies.

But who could blame them? If I wasn’t the one driving, I probably would have been staring at my phone too! And truly, I do find myself zoning out at the end of everyday. It’s a conscious effort to keep going.

(This is the quote that hangs in my daughter’s room. She’s a runner.)

Unless you puke, faint, or die KEEP GOING.
— Jillian Michaels

I don’t want to wish away May. It’s a beautiful month. We’ve finally said goodbye to winter. The grass is green, the trees are filled with leaves, and warm weather greets us every morning. The key to having an awesome May is the key to every busy season: PREPARATION.

In September, I know that May is going to be busy. This should not be a surprise. I have a calendar. I know what sports my kids’ play. I know there will banquets and teacher appreciation and graduation parties. I know all of this MONTHS in advance. None of it should take me by surprise.

1) Begin stocking the gift closet after Christmas or at least take notes on things you see that would make great gifts. These are some of my favorite go-to gifts for graduates: You can purchase this or this and it will be here in two days. And of course, cash is always appreciated. No advance planning necessary.

2) Plan easy meals: My kid-friendly favorites are these Ham & Cheese Party Sandwiches, Homemade Pizzas, or anything that uses a grocery store rotisserie chicken (Chicken & Noodles, Chicken Tacos, Broccoli Rice)

3) Remember to exercise. This is the one thing you’ll be tempted to drop immediately. After all, who has time to exercise? I say, who has time not to? I love to work out in the morning, but during this season, I realized I just couldn’t do that every day. On the days I can, I do, but on the days that are just too busy I settle for running up to my gym while my daughter is at dance. I can only get in 30-40 minutes, but that’s enough time to do what I need to do. Plus, I don’t feel guilty about wasting time in the car or resentful because I didn’t get to exercise at all. If all else fails, just take the dogs for an extra lap down the street. That’s all it takes—a little bit extra and you’ll feel great.

4) Schedule a day to spend time with friends. There’s a lot to celebrate, but in May it’s almost never about you. Even Mother’s Day comes with pressure to honor our own parents and grandparents and spend time with our children. It’s lovely, of course, but celebrations are important for morale. They give us hope and remind us that we have friends and purpose, and that life is fun. Grab coffee with a friend, go for a walk together, see a movie while the kids are in school. (I did this today and lingered an hour longer than I probably should have, and I don’t regret it for one second.)

5) This post is about rest. It’s about taking a break for a moment when what really sounds good is taking a break forever. As the school year draws to a close and the kids are cleaning out their desks and throwing out all their old papers, think about how you can implement this same ritual at home. This is a great time for you to take a personal inventory of all the things you really don’t need anymore (Say goodbye to all the yucky water bottles and lunch boxes. Say goodbye to all those papers you’ve been saving just in case.). Get rid of the stuff you can see, and then get rid of the stuff on your calendar. What do you want to continue? What is coming to a natural end? What makes you feel alive?

Enjoy your summer, and we’ll talk about next year in August.

See you soon!

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