value

Your Values Determine Your Value

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Try not to become a man of success, but rather a man of value.
— Albert Einstein

I don’t remember when I first heard this quote, but the words have stuck with me.

Success just feels so…subjective.
As it should be.
After all, everyone has a different definition of what it means to be successful. I’ve written about success many times over the years.
(You can read more, here, here, here, here, and here.)

We all want to be successful, and we definitely don’t want to admit it when we’re not.

But I think I love this Einstein quote so much because it just makes sense:

To believe that a man who provides value is more important than a man who believes he is successful: I can get on board with that kind of thinking.

In the marketplace, people pay good money for value.
Valuable things cost more.
Because they’re worth more.

And the more I thought about the quote, I too, wanted to become a person of value. “Value” is a word that’s rich with meaning: It conveys utility, importance, and high regard.

Values, on the other hand, are the individual beliefs that act as a guide for human behavior; the principles that help you decide what’s right and wrong and how to behave in certain situations.

When Gavin and I purchased the coffee shop last year, one of the first things we knew we needed to do was decide who we were going to be.

I know what you’re thinking. Duh! You’re a coffee shop! There’s one on every corner.
You. Sell. Coffee.

And you’re right. We did sell coffee. But the coffee was only a by-product of what we were really selling—the experience of drinking coffee in an environment that reflected our values. The problem was that when we got to Copper Coin nobody knew what those values were. They had never been discussed. They had never been shared. We had to create them so our team could begin internalizing them and our guests could begin experiencing them.

In business, the motto du jour is “Profit First.”
There’s even a book by the same title.

Profit, this book (and others like it) will tell you, is the difference between revenue and expenses. It’s what separates the unsuccessful business from the successful one.

Simple enough on paper but hard to do in real life.

Unfortunately, I’ve never been great at the whole for-profit thing. My entire life experience up until now has been firmly rooted in the realm of nonprofit work. “Stop trying to give everything away!” Gavin would often have to remind me in the early days of owning the coffee shop.

People will pay good money for what they value.

Again, the reminder:

Try not to become a man of success but rather a man of value.
— Albert Einstein

Our five values were:

  1. Hospitality

  2. Belonging

  3. Generosity

  4. Artisan Craftsmanship

  5. Joy

It was only when we closed that I was sure we had succeeded in living out these values, as story after story was shared with me about the ways in which Copper Coin had been impactful to the people who experienced it on a daily basis. Sure, people missed the coffee, but they missed the experience of being in their favorite place with their favorite people even more.

Those five values mean a lot to me personally.

They reflect the person I aspire to be. But I don’t want them only to be aspirational; no, these values need to be guiding principles. No matter what the future holds in terms of work, I want people to look at my life and see my values reflected there.

No doubt the future will be filled with more opportunities to create, build, and lead. You have choices, too. Do your values act as guideposts for the decisions you have to make about future work and life?

If the decisions you make about where you invest your blood, sweat, and tears are not consistent with the person you aspire to be, you’ll never become that person.
— Clayton M. Christensen

Do you agree?

I would love for you to share your personal values with me. How are they reflected at home and at work? Simply hit “reply” or type your answer in the comments below.

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What's the Best Compliment You've Ever Received?

My mother in law collects snow globes from the places she’s visited. My mother collects angels. I have a friend with a basement full of bobbleheads of famous baseball players. But the collection that still kind of creeps me out is the one that’s common among young moms—you know who you are—the ones that save their kids’ baby teeth. (Ewwww)

Me—I am a collector of questions.

I have a notebook filled with them.

The other day, as I was scanning through my notebook, I fired off a few to my husband:

What’s one responsibility you wish you didn’t have?
What’s your biggest fear about getting older?

And then this one:

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

A mentor once told me to pay attention to the compliments.

She said, “Always pay attention to your compliments. Write them down. They are a clue about who you are and what you are good at and where you can add value. Compliments help you figure out what you are supposed to do. Whenever you are unsure, one thing you can always do is pay attention to the compliments.

So I don’t know what I expected him to say. Probably something regarding his work or education, but what he actually said was so unexpected and so beautiful it took my breath away.

Probably, “I do,” he said.

I do?

Can a promise also be a compliment?
(The best promises are compliments.)

I believe in you.
I love you.
I forgive you.

“I do” is akin to saying “You’re my favorite” every single day of your life.

"Do you, Chantel, take Gavin, to be your wedded husband? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, so long as you both shall live?”

I do.
I do.
I do.

I promised on January 5, 1996, and every day since reinforces this reciprocal compliment, made all the more special because neither of us deserve it. Unexpected compliments are the sweetest of them all.

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