Ready or not, here I come!
That’s the sound of the holidays getting ready to descend upon you like a herd of goats into a valley of wildflowers.
And it’s true, ready or not, Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us. Got the pies ready? The presents wrapped?
If you felt the rush of cortisol coursing through your veins after reading those last two sentences, you are not alone.
Days on the calendar tick by just like your childhood friend, counting from 1-100 before he races around the house in a desperate hunt to find you. We know what’s coming, and sometimes that old urge to HIDE sneaks up on us.
It’s weird because the holiday sales start earlier and earlier. If this was a college course, the professor would be saying, “Guys, you knew about this! It was on the syllabus!”
And maybe that’s precisely why we keep putting off the inevitable. If you’ve had as many birthdays as me, maybe you’re feeling a little—dare I say it—over-confident? You’re used to cramming for the final, staying up all night, and stuffing yourself with pizza and breadsticks. “I can do this,” you tell yourself. “It always works out.”
And it does. It always works out.
If by working out, you mean Christmas came and went, people ate, and everybody opened presents, albeit the kind that cost too much and were bought too late. Wait…what just happened?
I don’t know about you, but I long for more. Seasons should be celebrated. Time is precious. But how can we slow it down?
Turns out, there are some hacks for slowing down time that are actually fun. Of course, we can’t really slow down time. Unlike Hermione, we don’t have a time-turner, but because we’re human our brains are easily tricked.
Ready? Let’s dig in!
1.
Novel experiences stretch time. We perform mundane and repetitive tasks without even thinking. Not thinking means we don’t remember. And if we don’t remember, those mundane tasks seem like they never even happened. This year, do something you’ve never done before.
Suggested Activity:
A few years ago, our family hosted a Shortest Day party on the winter solstice, December 21st. It was a different kind of holiday party, and we had the best time—eating foods like short ribs and shortcake and scattering fun facts about the solstice around the house. We made a buche de noel cake. If you’re doing this with your family, you could even have some extra fun and short sheet the bed as a joke!
2.
Conversely, rituals help us slow down time because they are the opposite of mindless. When we engage in behaviors that are ritualistic, we are mindful of what we’re doing. And mindfulness begets a host of benefits! It’s the body’s way of being responsive, rather than reactive. What are the rituals that your family enjoys during this special season?
Suggested Activity:
Rituals are repeated activities that have personal significance. For example, marking a child’s height on the door frame is a ritualistic act. Keeping a prayer journal is ritualistic. Another thing I recently realized I do is write notes in the margins of cookbooks. For example, I was flipping through an old one the other day and came across a recipe that looked interesting. The note: “Made this on 9/12/09, sauce would be good on chicken too, family loved it, perfect for company.” Hey—maybe I’ll make that one the day after Christmas!
3.
Experiencing an intense emotion also slows down time and causes the experiences associated with the emotion to become embedded in our memories. It’s why some men can recount every play of a winning tennis match or how some women love to share their birth stories. These are intense emotional events, and when they are happening in real time, the seconds seem to tick slowly by.
There’s a lot of emotional pressure to connect during the holidays. If it’s your first holiday after a major life event—a death in the family or a child who has left the nest—you may be feeling sadness or depression. Allowing yourself to feel the emotion, to mark it in a meaningful way, can bring purpose to the situation. Re-frame what your’re feeling by expressing gratitude for this new season.
Suggested Activity:
Do something special that your loved one always enjoyed, even if it wasn’t something he/she loved to do during the holidays. Make a collage of all your favorite photos. Create a new tradition for the future. Then, when you look back, you will have a time-stamp that solidifies the memory in your mind. Who doesn’t love hearing from a dear friend after years apart? Let this be the year that you get together for brunch or tea. If you have a child coming home from college after a semester away, think about how can you make the homecoming extra special for him/her.
4.
Traveling is a great way to stretch time. The new place is not only novel, but your brain has to work overtime to overcome the challenges of navigating different routes, culture, food, people, etc. If you don’t have the resources to get away, try visiting someplace new—a botanical garden or a tour of homes.
Suggested Activity:
Plan a spontaneous overnight trip to a nearby city. A friend of mine just surprised her family with a trip to Asheville to see the Biltmore House decorated for Christmas. My daughter is going to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens to experience their Garden Nights, Holiday Lights exhibit. See a local play. Our community theatre just finished a performance of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Those Herdmans will stay with you forever!
Caveat: Because our brains have to work overtime, travel can be exhausting, and sometimes we just want to rest.
5.
The holidays are a great time to do just that. Incorporating a season of rest into the end-of-year schedule is a wonderful way to recharge. Knowing what’s coming helps us prepare for what we want most. Every year, I say I’m going to simplify things., and in some ways I have if only because I’ve had more practice. I no longer get stressed out making the gingerbread or homemade marshmallows because I love doing these things, and the process is second nature. Some things, however, are exhausting. I’ve learned how to expunge those activities from my holiday to-do list.
Suggested Activity:
Outsource the things you don’t want to do. For example, I hate wrapping presents. When it comes time to get out the scissors and bows, Gavin takes over. He turns on a podcast or movie and gets to work. He finds great satisfaction in turning out a beautifully wrapped box with perfect corners and a crisp bow. Two years ago, I started hosting a Pie Day with my friends. It might seem like an extra thing to put on the calendar, but really it’s just two hours when we all get together, make a few pies, and exchange them. Now I have four delicious homemade pies that I can take to all my own family gatherings. Both a time saver and a money saver!
6.
This may be a bit controversial, which is why I saved it for last, but did you know that drinking alcohol actually speeds up your perception of time? That’s because your attentional system becomes less adequate and less adept at forming memories. I know many people look forward to holiday drinks, but I’m just going to throw it out there—there are a lot of great recipes for “mocktails,” and no one should feel like they have to apologize for not having wine with dinner or toasting with champagne.
Suggested Activity:
A favorite non-alcoholic drink: APPLE CRANBERRY MOCKTAIL
Recipe:
Apple cider
Cranberry juice
Sparkling water
Lemon juice
Sugar in a dish (for the rim)
Lemon slice or peel (optional)
Directions:
Dip the top of the flute in water and then immediately dip into sugar dish. Add ¼ cup of apple cider to the flute. Add ½ cup of cranberry juice to the flute. Add a splash of soda water for bubbles. Top with 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Garnish with a lemon slice or peel (optional).
Paradise Found
You can’t hide from the holidays. Ready or not, they’re coming. Seek and you will find it—abounding joy and time that’s savored, not squandered. At the end of year, write down a few sentences about what made this year extra special, put up your feet, and celebrate the beauty of the season. Next year, take a look at what you wrote. You might find yourself saying, “I can’t believe a year has passed,” but at least you will know what happened.