Is there any such thing as a silly fear?

What are you afraid of?

That was the question our family pondered together around the dinner table tonight.

• Spiders

• Moldy bread

• Pop quizzes

• Small children who have eaten too much sugar and haven’t had enough sleep (That one is mine.)

And then somebody mentioned clowns.

And everybody was like, “Oh, yeah…clowns…SO CREEPY.”

WHEN DID CLOWNS GO FROM BEING KOOKY TO CREEPY?

Aaron piped up: “2016! That’s when Stephen King’s It came out in theatres.”

But then Gavin pulled up a YouTube video of the famous Bozo the Clown of the 1960s. He sure looked creepy to us, but the crowd went wild for him—in a good way!

Bozo the Clown 1966

I did a little digging and found that creepy clowns go all the way back to 1928, way before Bozo entered the scene.

Weirdly, the baptist church in my hometown used to have a Clown Ministry, of all things. I wish I could find an old YouTube video of that!

The reality is that most fears are irrational. Take that fear of spiders, for example. Less than 1/10th of one percent of the more than 37,000 spiders known to exist are dangerous. That’s crazy! What are the chances that the tiny guy dangling from a thread on my back porch will actually cause me any harm?

It’s ridiculous when you really stop and think about it.

Even on Vacation…

We were in Hilton Head last month and a friend from the gym—an older gentleman— warned me that there was a shark on the loose.

Yep. Those were his exact words—Shark. On. The. Loose.

It became a sort of running joke. All week we laughed about the “shark on the loose” in the great big Atlantic Ocean!

My daughter sent me this photo from one of the beach dives that caters to tourists. Her caption:“I found the shark on the loose!”

I found the shark on the loose!!!

The funny thing is that sharks only kill 6 people per year (on average). I’ve never been too afraid of sharks in Hilton Head, even though (even though!!!) there’s always a guy with a fishing pole reeling one in!

Around town, we mostly see alligators lounging on the grass next to ominous signs warning hapless tourists not to feed them. But even alligators only kill 3 people per year. (Our vacation family told us that.) While their family discussed various hypothetical vacation disaster scenarios, one of the kids discovered an online stat warning that coconuts are far more deadly than either alligators or sharks, killing a whopping 150 people every year!

Who knew?

So why all this talk of fear? Am I scaring you already?

Well, today I read an article about how fear can warp ambition. I don’t think I would have stopped to read the article at all, but I was curious because both fear and ambition are so complicated.

EVERY TIME YOU MIX EMOTION with DESIRE, THINGS GET Pretty COMPLICATED.

Think about it for a second.

Fear can be a good thing.

• Fear signals danger and motivates us to respond to potential threats.

• It heightens the senses and helps us recognize risks to avoid harm.

• Confronting our fears encourages us to step out of our comfort zones and try new things.

BUT…Fear also has a nasty underbelly.

The article I read highlighted the fears of unworthiness, uncertainty, insecurity, and rejection as the things that could undermine ambition. And I get this because in my own life, especially as I’ve gotten older, I’ve allowed fear to cloud what could be healthy ambition.

And WHY? Why have I allowed fear to choke me like that? Have you felt it it too?

I think most fears are the direct result of a lie we’ve believed. Some of us hear these lies and vow that “We’ll show them! They’ll see! One day they’ll be sorry that they ever said THAT about ME!”

But some of us (and I’m talking about myself here), realize much too late that all our lives we’ve been believing something that was never even true. And that thing that we believed might be keeping us from doing our best work. I think it’s the reason why every single women’s conference I’ve ever been to has had one of two themes: Either “I am Worthy” or “I am Enough.” And to be honest, I’ve kind of shunned those conferences because I grew up knowing I was worthy and that I was enough.

But I’m gonna be real honest here: I grew up knowing I was worthy in the same way that I know spiders aren’t scary and that sharks rarely patrol the waters surrounding Hilton Head Island. I know these things to be true, but I’m still gonna scream my head off if a spider falls on my head, and it’s going to have to be a pretty hot day to get me to wade farther than waist deep into those tempting waves.

Seriously…

Who told you you were fat?
Who told you you were ugly?
Who told you you were average?

Who told you that?
But here’s the bigger question:
WHY DID YOU BELIEVE IT?

LIES! LiES!

So the lesson here is: the next time you’re sitting under a palm tree debating about whether or not to wade out into those tempting waves, you better look up first and make sure there’s not a coconut about to drop on your head.

I’m kidding.

THAT IS NOT THE LESSON.

The lesson is that fear is only fear because of what we don’t know. And the truth is that you don’t know what amazing things you might be capable of doing. Until you actually try to do them.

Doesn’t it seem like everybody is a little bit more anxious these days?

Late one night, Gavin and I were talking about how there’s not much we don’t know anymore. I mean, at the touch of a button, we can see where every one of our four kids is in real time. We know exactly what route to follow and even how long it will take to get to them. If I get in the car and plug that address into my GPS right this very second, a kind voice will direct my every move turn-by-turn. I don’t even have to think about it.

It’s crazy to think that just a couple of decades ago, my college boyfriend would drive up from Georgia to Indiana armed with nothing but a map and a prayer—”Lord, help me make good time.” Once or twice he just showed up at my door and didn’t even tell me he was on the way! What if I hadn’t been home? What if I had made other plans? What if something had happened to him on the way?

WHAT IF did not exist. We just lived.

It’s okay not to know what’s next, despite the fact that everywhere I go these days, that’s the question I get asked. We’re scared because we can’t see the future, and we’ve become accustomed to seeing everything in real time. But the thing is—we NEVER see the big picture. We can only see where we are right now. Those maps from the olden days are relics of yore. We know nothing now of hazy landforms or unmarked detours. We’re scared because we’ve been told that the world is a scary place and that we must be VIGILANT. AT. ALL. COSTS.

But maybe, just maybe, sitting in the dark for a little while is a good thing.

I believe a little bit of fear is good for our faith.

Just imagine those two emotions sitting next to each other in peaceful companionship. For a moment, let faith cover fear with her brave, strong hand. Give faith permission to speak truth over the lies that have allowed your fear of the unknown to grow. What wonderful things might you discover if you embarked on such a journey?

I’ve always loved this verse in Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

What is the lie that’s keeping you from your greatest ambition?

Want more good stuff?

How is NOT the Right Question to Ask

---

For easier readability, Click HERE to view this email on the Chantel Adams website.

---

Let me rephrase that.
How is not the right FIRST question to ask.

Hey there, friend.

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut?

You’ve got a big idea, but you’re not sure…
(I’m cringing now because I don’t want to say this next part)
…HOW to get started.

I know.

Yikes.

The big HOW.
It’s a loaded question. And for someone like me, someone who likes to have all the answers so she never looks stupid in front of a crowd, it really is the question of all questions.

How stops me in my tracks.
Every.
Single.
Time.

The world is changing—FAST—and I’m starting to feel like I don’t understand anything. How is trying to become a regular part of my own vocabulary.

Don’t worry—I won’t let it!

The weird thing is that I’ve always hated this question—not because I might not have the right answer, but because I think we miss out on something very important when this becomes the FIRST question we ask.

Let me explain.

There’s a Peter Block quote that I’ve been thinking about lately:

“There is depth in the question, ‘How do I do this?’ that is worth exploring. The question is a defense against the action. It is a leap past the question of purpose, past the question of intentions, and past the drama of responsibility. The question ‘How?’ more than any other question looks for the answer outside of us. It is an indirect expression of our doubt.”

— Peter Block

Purpose, Intentions, and Responsibility

Let’s dive right in.

Block says the question of “how” is a DEFENSE against action.

Ouch.

It is a leap past the question of purpose, past the question of intentions, and past the drama of responsibility.

Triple Ouch.

I gotta be honest. I read a lot of online news, follow a lot of blogs, and listen to a lot of podcasts about culture and invention and progress, and while loading up on all that inspiring content can be really encouraging, I can easily get lost as a spectator to other people’s accomplishments.

Yep, I hear it when I write it. 🤦‍♀️

Maybe I should be working on something of my own.

Purpose, Intention, and Responsibility aren’t questions at all. They are reflections of what we value and determine how we move in the world.

The real, almost visceral question of how can be such a downer when you aspire to live in a world of purpose and accomplishment.

It reeks of FEAR.

Of course, whenever I’m thinking about something big that I don’t understand I go to THE BOOK to see what God said about it, and I found a few examples I’d like to share here: In every case study, the main character went to God with the question that’s been on the forefront of my own mind lately: HOW???

In Genesis 18, God tells Abraham that he will be the father of a great nation, which was clearly hilarious to both Abraham and Sarah. No one their age got pregnant and had children. At the time, our modern concept of what a “nation” is didn’t even exist. People lived in tribal communities. So HOW was God going to create a nation from the loins of Abraham?

Genesis 18:11: Abraham and Sarah were both very old by this time, and Sarah was long past the age of having children. so she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master, my husband, is also so old?”

Pretty bold when you think about it. Would you laugh at an audible promise from God?

Now consider this exchange between Moses and God outlined in Exodus 3:10:

Now I am sending you to the king of Egypt so that you can lead my people out of his country. but Moses said to God, “I am nobody. How can I go to the king and bring the Israelites of Egypt?

At the time, the Bible records about 600,000 men who ended up leaving with Moses. Including women and children the number could have been closer to 2 million, nearly half of Egypt’s total population.

No wonder Moses had some reservations about leading God’s people out of Egypt! How do you coordinate travel plans without the ease of communicating via the Internet? 🤷‍♀️

It wasn’t easy being an Israelite.

Years later, God instructs Gideon to save Israel from the hands of the Mideonites. This guy was woefully unprepared. If he was applying for a job today, the interviewer would have said, “You lack experience.” Code for “we need someone older.” But more politically correct.

Judges 6:15: “Please, my Lord,” Gideon replied, “How can I save Israel? Indeed, my clan is the weakest in Manassah, and I am the youngest in my father’s house.”

Even though God had come through for Israel again and again, they often needed reminding. Jeremiah ultimately became one of the greatest prophets in Israel. He is best known for his prophecies of gloom and doom. Soon, he would warn Israel that if they didn’t get their act together, they were destined for destruction.

But not yet.

This, apparently, was not a message that Jeremiah wanted to deliver. A message like this wasn’t going to help him win any popularity contests.

According to Jeremiah 1:6, he said, “Alas, Sovereign Lord…I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

Ok, let’s fast-forward a bit for a sneak peek into the life of David before he became the greatest King Israel had ever known. We see David happen upon a face-off between the people of Israel and the giant Goliath, who is mercilessly taunting them. The Israelites, cowering in his wake, ask, “How?” What we see here, however, is that David (the one who ends up overcoming the giant) actually doesn’t pose this question at all. (Hmmm…we’ll come back to this later.)

One of the first encounters with God we see in the New Testament occurs when Zechariah is in the temple of the Lord. According to Luke 1, an angel of the Lord appears before Zechariah and tells him that his barren wife, Elizabeth, will bear him a son. In a deja vu moment that harkens back to the days of Sarah and Abraham, Zechariah asks,

“How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”

In the very same chapter, God sends the angel Gabriel to Mary to tell her about the baby she will carry, the one that will change the world forever. Mary is young and healthy, but there’s a twist.

Luke 1:34: Mary asked the angel, “How can this be? I’m a virgin.”

And yet it does come to be.

All grown up, wherever Jesus goes, crowds follow. On one account, more than five thousand people gather in the hot sun to hear Jesus teach. Lunchtime approaches, the people are getting hungry—very hungry—but the disciples aren’t operating a restaurant. How will they feed so many?

John 6:8: Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up. “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

In every single case, God responds with some version of these words: “Listen, kid, don’t worry. I will be with you. Is there anything too hard for ME?”

And that’s where I think we get hung up.

We think that doing incredible work depends on us.

And okay, yeah, I believe in hard work, too. I also believe that we worship THE GOD OF HOW. We don’t always have to have all the answers. Maybe purpose, intention, and responsibility are enough to carry us.

You may be thinking, “But God hasn’t audibly spoken to me. God hasn’t sent an angel to me. I haven’t walked alongside the living, breathing Jesus.”

Maybe not.

But you have something equally as rich and powerful.

Hebrews 4: 12 says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

What is interesting to me in all the examples in both the Old and New Testament is that God performed his miracles by meeting his people exactly where they were and invited them to use only what they already possessed. No one had to go and get a special degree or make sweeping changes in order for the plan to be completed. They simply had to trust God’s purpose, act with intention, and keep straight who was responsible for what.

So…

If “How” isn’t the first question we should ask, what IS the first question?

Here’s the one I keep coming back to:

““Will you go with me, God?””

There’s a promise that shows up again and again, of God saying, “I will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, 31:8, Joshua 1:5, Psalms 27:9, 1 Chronicles 28:20 among others ) and then of Jesus saying “And I will ask the Father and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever” (John 14:16).

I told you that I would come back to the David and Goliath story.

Isn’t it interesting that all the people around David asked that question, and yet David never did? Poor David. Young David. Weak David. He possessed no special skills or equipment. In fact, 1 Samuel tells us that “David left his things with the keeper of supplies, ran to the battle lines, and asked his brothers how they were” (1 Samuel 17:22). When Saul realized that David was bold enough to actually fight the Philistine, he gave him a coat of armor, a bronze helmet, and a sword.

But David took them off.

That’s right. He shed the fancy fighting equipment, and instead gathered his shepherd staff, along with a few rocks and a sling, and then approached the Philistine.

And then he said what I wish I was brave enough to say:

“For the battle is the Lord’s (v. 47)

We all face giants, seemingly insurmountable obstacles that threaten to squash us or humiliate us. We think we have to have all the answers. We ask HOW like the battle is ours to win.

But like David, who said that all glory and honor would go to God, we too need to remember that this life isn’t about us. If I want to bring glory and honor to God through purposeful living, I don’t need to ask HOW, I just need to be willing to ask God to come with me.

Want more good stuff?

***Fun Fact: When I was a camper at Camp WinShape for Girls in the 80s and 90s, we engaged in a Native American storytelling tradition around the campfire that invited listeners to say the word “wow” when something sad or disappointing was shared and “how” during moments of great triumph. I always thought the counselors had got it mixed up, but nope—HOW was what you said when you agreed with the storyteller! It was not a question of doubt, but rather a proclamation of awe.

The Hidden Benefit of Trying New Things

The Hidden Benefit of Trying New Things

If you’ve ever been bored by your life, you’re not alone.

Maybe you’ve heard someone else say they feel like they’re languishing?

Now, that’s a big word!

The literal definition of languish is to suffer from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation.

And the older I get, the more people I meet who seem to be stuck there.

Turns out, it actually IS hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

And listen, I’m not one to talk.

Change is scary!

But just because something is scary doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Case in point: When my kids and husband begged me to ride Rip Ride Rocket at Universal Studios, I said yes. I screamed from beginning to thrilling end, but did I have fun? Heck yeah I did!

You say you want to flourish. You say you want to make a profound impact. You say you want to live life to the fullest by doing work that matters.

Maybe you want to share your your message, your skills, your mission with hundreds or even thousands of people. 

And yet you wonder why you can’t seem to get moving when you think about how exciting your life would be—if only you could just DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 

How overwhelming it feels, how impossible to reach a bar that is set so very high for yourself!

Start a company? Buy a new house? Reach out to a new friend? Of course you are going to get cold feet when you ask yourself to do those things.

Your life is stable. Comfortable. Predictable. Life is going well. Why would you risk all that?

It’s easier to stay where you are. But the longer you stay, the more you are in danger of languishing.

One of the things I love about kids is that every time they experience something new, they grow just a little bit—not in stature but in maturity.

All those rites of passage.

• Braces.

• Driver’s licenses.

• First dates.

• College acceptance letters.

Having something to look forward to makes life interesting and fun. And the problem is that most of us have become fearful of trying new things. Year after year, we fall into comfortable habits and familiar rituals, all in the name of safety and security and then wonder why our lives feel so BORING. When each new day feels exactly like every old day, time flies and we can’t even remember what we did. “Where did the time go?” we ask ourselves.

If you’re not sure what’s next for you, let me encourage you to start with one thing.

JUST ONE.

Do something new and small. Do you normally drink tea? Try coffee instead. Like to work out by pressing buttons on your remote control? Try a group fitness class.

What if that one decision gave you the courage to try one more?

What if your decision today was enough to kick-start your booty into doing something totally brand new?

Here’s the thing no one tells you: You’ll never know what waits on the other side of your decision until you take that first scary step.

I know what you’re thinking. Changing up your daily hot drink or working out in a different way is not enough to help me dig out of the rut I’ve built.

I get it.

But remember, doing something scary can feel exactly like visiting a gym for the first time. At first, everything is awkward and unfamiliar. If you make it through the first workout, you’ll probably feel sore the next day. But every time you exercise those muscles, the workout gets a little easier. The pain is still there, but now it feels GOOD because you understand that you are building muscle. You can add more weight, do more reps, go a little longer. Your clothes fit better. You have more energy.

Maybe someone asks you to run a 10K. You hesitate for a fraction of a second, but then you say, “Yes! Yes! I can do that!”

And you know you can—because you’ve already tried something new and hard. And you didn’t die.

My thirteen year-old daughter also used to be terrified of roller coasters, but she made a promise to herself that this year would be her year to ride them all. When we went to Universal two weeks ago, she started small: First, Hagrid’s, then the Incredible Hulk, then Dr. Doom, and finally the granddaddy of them all: the Velocicoaster. Halfway through the ride, she was no longer white-knuckling the bar in front her. Instead, she was laughing with her hands in the air.

That’s what I want for you, too. The thrill of riding with your hands in your air through all the ups and downs and twists and turns of every new possibility life brings. Love and work are one wild ride. And besides, life is too short to spend any of it languishing. Try something new, and enjoy every minute!

Want more good stuff?

The Scariest Question in the World

I have to tell you something about me: I’m 47 years old, and I’ve never had a cavity.

Until today.

I’ve been dreading today for the last six months because the last time I went to the dentist, he told me that in fact, I do have a cavity, and that he would have to fill it at my next appointment.

I’ve been counting down the last 180 days, and although I’ve had six months to prepare, believe me when I tell you that I was not ready.

Have you ever had a date circled on the calendar that you just didn’t want to arrive? In your mind, you just knew it was going to be the worst possible day.

That was me.

And then the day of the actual filling was really anti-climactic. A little numbing cream. A couple of shots, and then some weird noises, but otherwise…

BLESSEDLY UNEVENTFUL.

It’s easy to get ourselves worked up over things that MIGHT happen or COULD happen, but that doesn’t mean they WILL happen.

The scariest question in the world is WHAT IF?

The chance that your worst fear will actually happen is actually pretty low. In the case of my cavity, I was worried that it would hurt so bad that I would cry or throw up, which would be embarrassing, but not devastating. The reality, of course, is that a tiny little cavity isn’t going to kill me.

The only way to manage anxiety and fear is to face it head-on.

We have to face anxiety head-on because that’s where anxiety lives—IN OUR HEADS.

Here’s how:

Before: Channel the anxiety into something constructive. To ease your un-ease, do something to distract your mind from the thing you’re dreading. I like to practice Spanish or bake something in my kitchen. Sometimes I read or journal. Prayer always helps!

During: Remind yourself that the pain you’re experiencing is temporary. It will not last forever. (This trick helped me deliver four kids without drugs.) And again, prayer always helps. A posture of dependence can help you achieve an inner calm. It is a reminder that you are not alone.

After: Fear is a good thing. Humans are hard-wired to experience fear. That fight or flight response is exactly the thing that enables us either to hide from or attack our predators. There’s no such thing as overcoming fear, but facing our fears can help us be more confident, as we discover that surviving challenging situations is a skill-set we can own. And what you believe about the future changes how you live in the present.

• WHAT IF you believed that good things are to come?

• WHAT IF you believed that even this hard thing could be an invitation to learn something new about yourself or about the world?

• WHAT IF you believed your experience could be an encouragement to someone else?

Many of you are dealing with issues much scarier than a little ‘ol cavity, and my heart goes out to you today. We all have both small and big things in our lives that trigger the fear response. My dad, an avid tree climber, for example, has a fear of heights. To combat that fear, he just keeps climbing higher. My older daughter hates loud noises. When she feels overwhelmed, she visualizes the most peaceful place she knows. And I have a friend battling cancer. She shares everything that’s happening—the good and the bad—and thus invites everyone she knows to join her cheering squad.

I’d love to know how you’re slaying your own fears. Share your own tips and tricks in the comments below!

Want more good stuff?

How Superstitious Are You?

I believe that if I tell you my biggest fear it will come true.
But I also believe that if I tell you my biggest wish it won’t come true.

Isn’t it funny the ridiculous things we believe about the world? Without hard data to prove any of it is even true? Things like the number 13 is unlucky and if you tempt the universe you have to “knock on wood.”

According to TedEd, many superstitions originally stemmed from religion. That number 13 thing? It’s a remnant of the Last Supper. Twelve disciples plus Jesus. That’s 13, and apparently that’s bad. Because one of those guy was REALLY bad. And some superstitions are the remnants of the pagan religions which Christianity replaced. Knocking on wood, for example, stems from a Celtic belief that spirits inhabit wood.

For some people (and I count myself among them) following the superstition, no matter how irrational, is often easier than consciously resisting it. Giving into the superstition provides the illusion of having greater control over events. Athletes who believe their “lucky socks” will help them win games sometimes actually DO perform better. The socks themselves don’t have any special powers, but wearing them can boost the athlete’s confidence.

And maybe that’s enough.

Coping with life’s uncertainties is difficult work. We all have a desire to control unknown outcomes. Superstitions are a way to battle nerves and address impatience.

Maybe superstitions aren’t all bad, but if we allow our fear to overtake our hope we find ourselves not only unable to make decisions based on rational thought but we might also be tempted to put our faith in random coincidences that are actually the work of God’s intentional blessing in our lives.

I want to tell myself to get a grip, that I’m not going to have bad luck all day just because I accidentally dropped my compact and the mirror cracked, or even that I’m going to have good luck because I was out walking and stumbled upon a shiny penny on the ground.

Find a penny, pick it up
All day long, you’ll have good luck

Instead, I have to focus on what is true. And what is true is that no amount of knocking on wood or stepping over cracks in the sidewalk or avoiding walking under ladders will ensure I stay safe and enjoy an easy life of leisure and success.

Good sense is always connected to God’s enduring promises, not the world’s empty persuasions.

I’m working on it.

Just the other day I opened an umbrella inside and didn’t even worry that I wouldn’t be okay the rest of the day.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared. (3:5-6, 21-26)

In Korea, people believe that if you sleep with a fan on at night you will die. I’m going to see if I can convince Gavin that this one might be true. Maybe he’ll let me change out the fan in our bedroom for a new light fixture.

Until next time, follow your mission, not the madness.

Want more good stuff?

Safety is not the Goal

A few years ago, we had a really big snow in Georgia, fondly referred to now as Snowpocalypse 2014. It shut down school for a whole week. During that week, I received a lot of communication from teachers and friends via email, and every one of those exchanges ended with the words, “Stay safe and warm.”

Lately, I’ve noticed the trend returning with comments on social media echoing the sentiment:

“Stay safe!” we shout to each other from a distance.

And I don’t know, there’s something about that word—SAFE—that gives me pause.

Safety used to be synonymous with comfort and peace. Safety was a security blanket I could carry around like a good luck charm.

And I guess that’s why SAFE doesn’t seem like the right word right now. We are in a very uncomfortable season. Many of us are dealing with overwhelming anxiety rather than peace. Safety not only feels out of reach, but also—and I know this will be controversial—irrelevant.

Irrelevant?
Stay with me.

Do you remember that line in Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, when Susan first learns about Aslan the Lion?

"Ooh" said Susan to the beaver. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

And the beaver replies, “Safe? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”

Susan was about to meet a King, and he was going to change her life.

In this scenario, a discussion about safety is irrelevant. The beaver is giving Susan an introduction to an empowered future.

Like Susan, we too crave safety. No one from Atlanta will ever forget Snowpocalyse 2014. The prevalent sentiment du jour was “safety above all else.”

But it was too late. Roads iced over. Traffic halted. Power faltered. Cars were stranded on the side of the road. Few carried the resources they needed—extra blankets, water bottles, protein bars, and waterproof shoes.

We just weren’t ready.

Were we ready for a global pandemic capable of taking down all of humanity?

No one was ready for Covid-19, even though scientists actually did warn world leaders decades ago that a virus similar to this one was not only possible, but also probable. They said it would change our lives.

And it has changed our lives.

In the name of safety, we wear masks and use hand sanitizer. In the name of safety, we cancel school, concerts, sporting events, and church. In the name of safety, we gather at a distance and call on our friends. via technology.

I like safety. But you know what I like more?

Empowerment.

Empowered people are not derailed when life throws them a curveball. Instead, they use whatever resources are available to ensure they are ready. Masks and hand sanitizer are resources, not crutches. Warm socks and bottled water are resources, not security blankets.

You can be empowered AND responsible.
You can be empowered AND adventurous.
You can be empowered AND still be safe.

President George Washington quoted Micah 4:4 throughout his life. In fact, historians cite more than 50 times that he included this one verse in his correspondence: “Everyone will sit under the own vine and under their own fig tree, and no one will make them afraid, for the Lord Almighty has spoken. All the nations may walk in the name of their gods, but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God for ever and ever.”

The good news of this passage and so many like it is that we don’t have to be afraid. (Psalms 16:1, Proverbs 28:26, Joshua 1:9, Ephesians 6:10.)

Empowerment is all about being ready. When you are empowered, you allow yourself to be defined by opportunities, not limitations. (Remember, like Susan of Narnia, we have met a King!)

None of us were prepared for Covid-19, but some of us were already prepared—in the sense that we encountered something new and instead of hiding in fear, we pivoted and made adjustments and began ordering our lives around a new reality, one in which we were ready and equipped.

In this season of uncertainty, I am not asking for safety. I am asking God to prepare my heart. (Psalms 16:7, Psalms 27:8, Psalms 28:7, Psalms 139:23)

Believe it or not, Snowpocalyse 2014 only dropped two inches of snow. Two inches! But it crippled Atlanta, not because it was so much snow, but because the snow simply arrived at the wrong time. Schools and businesses both dismissed around noon that day, quickly turning Atlanta’s interstates and surface streets into ice rink parking lots. My own husband was stranded in his car, and ended up spending the night with a family he’d never met because he simply could not get home.

Want to know what finally ended this catastrophe? It wasn’t anything the government did. And it certainly wasn’t us.

It was the sun!

Isn’t that a beautiful image?

My prayer is that in this season you’ll allow the light of Jesus to change your life, too. You may never feel safe.

But you can feel strong.
You can feel empowered.
You can feel prepared.

And then you will feel peace.

Let’s spend less time talking about our fear and more time doing something practical to mitigate it. You have one very powerful weapon available to you—your own body. True, it’s the one thing we most fear losing, but it houses both our heart and our brain. You can love others by showing respect in public. (Don’t be awkward; wear a mask, use hand sanitizer, don’t hug or shake hands.) Care for your neighbors in creative ways. We don’t know what this fall will look like, but let’s go ahead and prepare our homes for the additional time we’ll probably be spending there. Make it beautiful, a place of welcome and respite for those who are close to you.

And lastly, prepare to be disappointed.

But don’t let the disappointment derail you.

You were not only ready for this—you were made for it!

Want more good stuff?

But What Does God Want Me to Do?

What are we going to DO???

That used to be the question my kids asked me when they were bored. And I’d always respond: “Only boring people get bored.”

But now that I’m experiencing a new reality, one in which I can’t spend time with my friends, hang out in coffee shops, eat in restaurants, or do a group fitness class at my gym, I have to admit: I get it.

There’s only so many “art projects” and “cooking classes” a person can do with their kids before that question becomes the one I’m asking myself.

I keep reading all these articles about things we can do to combat our boredom. But one thing I don’t hear anyone talking about is this:

What does God want us to do?

The temptation is to ask for clarity. We do it when we have to make a choice amongst a variety of good options, we do it when we’re faced with situations that are novel or new, and we also do it when we’re in the midst of a crisis.

Today, my prayer might go, “Lord, please give me clarity about how best to parent my kids today.”

I read somewhere that clarity is the crutch of the Christian. We pray, beg, and plead for clarity, and if we don’t get it, we think that means God didn’t answer our prayer.

But Mother Teresa said, “I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you will trust God.”

What TRUST looks like in real life:

1. God wants you to be Observant:

   Look around!

   When you pay attention to what God is doing in the world around you, you become more aware of what he is doing in you. And maybe that’s the point: not that the world will change, but that you will.

2. God wants you to be Expectant:

   Wait for it!

   When you live with hopeful expectation, you realize that even when God is silent, he is not absent. Right now, perhaps your future looks hopeless or scary. Rest assured that God loves you, and is always inviting you to interact with the larger story that is happening in the world.

3. God wants you to be Available:

   Raise your hand!

   When you shift your perspective from a “need to know” mentality you realize that the “get to experience” life is the more adventurous way to to understand God. Remember when Moses encountered the burning bush?

   “When the Lord saw that he had gover to look, God called to him from within the bush, ‘Moses! Moses!’ And Moses said, ‘Here I am.’” Exodus 3:4

   And Moses received the assignment of a lifetime.

4. God wants you to be Objective:

   Share your experience!

   Your experience will be reflective of your thoughts, not your circumstances. Circumstances are always neutral; you get to decide the story you want to tell.

5. God wants you to be Obedient:

   Do the thing!

   When you figure out who you are, you will know what you’re supposed to do. You are a child of God, and as his child, you have been gifted with extraordinary confidence. That means you get to be a “wow” person, not a “how” person. Instead of asking “How can I do this?” you get to proclaim to the world: “Wow! I can do this!” The difference is faith in action.

---

Over the last couple of months, I have been doing a Bible study called Experiencing God with some friends in my neighborhood. The content feels relevant to me now, more than ever. If you have a specific problem you’re trying to work through or you simply want to understand more about God so that you can hear him more clearly in your own life, I heartily recommend this study:

“If you’re sensitive to what God is doing around you, He will clearly speak to you through His activity. You’ll know that God is at work, because what you see will astound you, and human power and wisdom will not explain it. When you experience events that surpass your understanding and ability, it may be that God is communicating a critical message to you.”

— Henry & Richard Blackaby, Experiencing God

Living through a global pandemic means I won’t be breaking out of this self-imposed quarantine anytime soon. When it’s over, I don’t want to have any regret over how I used this unprecedented gift of time. No regrets, no waste.

And I’m not asking for clarity; I’m counting on trust.

Want more good stuff?

I’d love to know what you’re learning. Leave a comment or simply hit “reply” if you’re getting this email in your inbox. I read every single note, and your encouragement and stories mean the world to me. Thank you for reading!

WINsday on Wednesday--The Future Hasn't Happened Yet, So Why Are You Going There?

What are you afraid of?

When I ask this question, the answers vary:

I’m afraid my kids will make bad choices.
I’m afraid I won’t have enough money for retirement.
I’m afraid I’ll never get to do the things I really want to do.
I’m afraid things will never get better—in my finances, my marriage, my work, etc. etc.

Do you see what all these fears have in common?

All of them take place in the future, and guess what?

The future hasn’t happened yet!

Last year, I asked my friend Laura about her aspirational self, the future Laura:. It’s a question I like to ask because thinking about who we want to be and what we want to be doing is always a fun conversation starter—sort of like, “If you won the lottery, what would you do with all the money?” It’s fun to think about what could happen and what might happen.

If only…

And even though I always feel like I have to squeeze in a caveat—“Tomorrow is not a guarantee”—I still was able to get Laura to talk about her three favorite aspirational words: Faithful, Courageous, and Present.

You’ll see why these words are important:

On Christmas Eve 2013, Laura’s boyfriend proposed to her. In a little more than two weeks time, he was being deployed to Afghanistan.

“Do you want to get married now?” he asked.

“Now?”  she said. “What about the dress, the bridesmaids, the party?”

All of that could wait.

They eloped, and what followed was a sweet time of secret matrimony—fully rooted in the present.

The future, while tinged with possibility, is also the place where our worst fears live, where the unknown grows and messes with our heads. For someone with a loved one in the military, those fears can feel extra scary. You don’t know exactly where they are, if you will hear from them, or when they are coming home.

You want to plan. You want to prepare. You want predictable outcomes you can control.

If only we could tell the butterflies in our tummies to “Go away and never come back!”

How many times have you heard someone who is facing something overwhelming say that all they can do is focus on what’s right in front of them? You say things like, “I could never do what you’re doing.” Or “I would never be brave enough to handle all that!” And it’s true, if you knew what the future held—in all its glory or in all its gory—you may not have the strength to face it. You’re better off not knowing what’s next.

The job change.
The diagnosis.
The loss.

Right now is the only thing that is true and real.

The past is regret.
The future is fear.
But the present is a gift.

So go ahead:

Dream your big dreams.

Laura and Trey have been married for six years and have a beautiful baby girl. They had a big surprise wedding nine months after their real one. And Laura doesn’t have any regrets. Doing the courageous thing—eloping—allowed her the freedom to be present for two weeks before Trey was deployed. And even though she’s not sure if her grandmother will ever forgive her for the secret wedding, I’m going to bet that Grandma already knows what we’re just now discovering—remaining faithful and present with the people you love is the most courageous thing you can ever do!

Now Laura says whenever she starts to think about the future, whenever those “what if” questions try to distract her from her current work, she tells herself to stay in the moment.

You are strong enough to handle what’s happening right now. In the present, what you have is always enough.

Some of you are like,

“Yeah, I know all that. I know I should be more present. But HOW DO I DO IT?”

Don’t worry—I’ve got you covered. Here’s three things you can do RIGHT NOW (See what I did there?)

1.     Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply a hyper-awareness of the present. Using all your senses, meditate on what you’re hearing, seeing, tasting, touching, and smelling. A favorite song or scent can bring you right back to the present by reminding you in an instant about what’s important.

2.     Adopt a posture of gratitude. Thanksgiving is the recognition that what we have is enough.

3.     Single-task your life. This one is the hardest. Multi-tasking wastes both time and energy because distractions are the enemy of productivity. But more importantly, divided attention voids your good intention. Be fully engaged with one thing at a time and you’ll find the present more accessible and enjoyable.

Fear wants to rob you of what you have now by diverting your attention to what hasn’t even happened yet.

Want more good stuff?

Help us create more more curated content JUST FOR YOU:

Get our Free Guide: 5 Things Mission Driven Women Do Differently

Know someone we should interview for a future Mission Driven Monday or WINsday on Wednesday? Tell us about her in the comments below or send an email directly to my inbox!

WINSday on Wednesday--Don't Ask "What If?" Do THIS Instead

Who wants to talk about New Year’s resolutions?

Anyone…

Anyone???

I know. It’s not even February, and we’re already sick and tired of talking about our goals.

Hey, I get it.

New year, new you. Whoop-de-doo!

It IS a new year. The new you is up to you.

In fact, one of my favorite questions to ask people—no matter what time of year it is—is
“What is your aspirational future?”

My twelve year-old daughter told me just last week that her resolution this year is to stay exactly the same.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “You’re not allowed to do that.”

Now before you get your pants in a tizzy about me loving my daughter exactly the way she is, let me assure you, I do.
I think she is a wonderful human.
She’s thoughtful, creative, and hard-working.
And I’ve told her as much many times. She knows all this is true.

But she’s also FEARFUL. (And she knows this is true, as well.)

Remember when you were a kid and your teacher would ask a question in class? If you knew the answer, your hand would shoot up in the air. But if you didn’t know the answer or you were unsure or thought your friends were going to make fun of you, then you would look down at your desk or out the window—anywhere you wouldn’t accidentally make eye contact with the teacher.

Questions are scary, and when you operate from a place of fear, all of life feels like one big question:

WHAT IF?

What if it’s too hard?
What if I look stupid?
What if I get hurt?
What if I never figure out how to do it?
What if…what if…what if….

Questions are loaded with anxiety.

So let’s talk about statements instead, specifically what I like to call What I.F. statements.

What I Fear is…

You exercise control over the fear when you frame the fear through the lens of a statement.

Fred Rogers said, “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.”

Although the emotion of fear is real, the cause may not even be true. That’s why fear doesn’t have to rule your life.

If you can categorize your fear, you can conquer it.

Last year, I interviewed my friend, Jordan Foxworthy. She told me about how when she was a little girl she also lived from a place of fear. She was afraid of so many things! And then one day she just decided to say yes—yes to an overseas missions trip with her dad. Getting on the plane and traveling to a faraway country with customs and language different from her own, she said “YES” and the experience changed the trajectory of her entire life! (You can watch our full interview here.)

Change is scary. Sometimes, I think we actually become more fearful as we get older. Maybe it’s because we can imagine all the ways in which something can go wrong. We know too much. Knowledge isn’t always power.

Sometimes, knowledge is paralyzing.

Jordan, who is now in her late 20s, says she often has to remind herself how far she’s come. Saying “yes” opened her up to the possibility of new experiences.

“My life is more interesting, eclectic, and diverse than my high school aged brain ever imagined it would be.”

Nobody wants to be scaredy-cat., so my daughter and I decided to make a list of a bunch of new things to try this year. She’s learning how to ride a skateboard. This is a big step. After crashing into a mailbox on a bike, I didn’t know if she’d ever trust herself on a set of wheels again. But a bike is not a skateboard. And crashing into a mailbox one time doesn’t mean we’ll crash into a mailbox the next time. Next time, she’ll remember to use her brakes. Problem solved!

We don’t get braver by doing nothing.

What are you scared of?

• Talking to that client?

• Making that career move?

• Ending that relationship?

• Starting a new exercise routine?

• Going back to school?

Name the fear. Surrender to what’s in front of you, and the next step will reveal itself. Resistance is what keeps you where you are.

If your goal this year is to stay exactly the same, then by all means, do nothing. Keep asking those “what if” questions. But if you want the interesting, eclectic, diverse life you’ve always dreamed of, then it’s time to open yourself up to the possibility of saying YES without fear.

Have you taken the Mission Driven Survey?



Want more goodies delivered directly to your inbox?

Downloaded our free guide? It’s just for Mission Driven Women.