Know thyself.
It’s one of the world’s most well known and oft-quoted maxims.
Oddly, and ironically, “know thyself” implies a certain amount of self-distancing, incomprehensible in this season of social distancing. And yet our distance from other people has also enabled us to see ourselves anew.
Who am I—REALLY?
Raise your hand if you had big plans during quarantine either to do something differently or to be something different.
Yeah, me too!
And yet, here we are, two months into this thing, and guess what? I’m the SAME person I was before quarantine!
Here’s what I’ve learned:
There’s a difference between what’s real and what’s ideal.
I’m basically a procrastinator at heart.
All those plans to get months ahead on blog content? Phhbttt! (Didn’t happen). Because I like to put things off. I’m easily distracted. I have a lot of interests. And in the absence of a hard deadline, I’ll gladly refinish an antique table or sit on the couch and read a book.
And besides, who is going to know if I stay in my pjs all day? Like you, I’m not going anywhere.
There’s a difference between what you know and what you do.
I hate homeschool.
My kids attend a hybrid school, which means they’re at school two days a week (sometimes three, If there’s labs or club meetings) and home the other days. Having them home everyday has been a challenge. I like having everybody at home, but let’s be honest—they are not getting the education they would be getting if they had those days at school with a real teacher.
There’s a difference between common sense and common practice.
I need to be with people.
In addition to all the obvious reasons why people need to be around other human beings, there’s the other less obvious ones, which you know are exacerbated if you’ve had a loved one in the hospital during this season. We need someone to keep us accountable, we need someone to ask hard questions, we need people in our lives we can trust, but we also need people who challenge us and inspire us, and I know there are myriad organizations trying to do that in an online space, but there is nothing—nothing—that can compare to wrapping your arms around a friend who has fallen in order to help them stand up.
Common sense says we should keep our distance in order to stay healthy. Common practice says, “My mental health is suffering, too!”
And that brings me to the second maxim engraved on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi:
“Nothing in Excess."
If there’s one thing I’ve learned during quarantine, it’s how to hold my stuff loosely—in an instant, everything you thought you valued could disappear.
In fact, we could probably rephrase the maxim to read:
“Only the essentials.”
“Essential” has become the most recognized word on the planet. (Thank you, healthcare workers! Thank you, food service industry! Thank you, utility companies!)
For me, defining “essential” has been easy:
Faith
Family
Friendship
And not just in the big metaphorical sense—the trite answer we all give when asked about what’s most important to us.
Truly, what is essential? Can you answer that question? When I pondered the first maxim, “Know thyself,” I stepped outside of myself and discovered a hard truth.
Who I am in this season is who I am in every season.
COVID-19 doesn’t change me—at my core.
And this is what I know: The home improvement projects and the aspirational dreams are non-essential. What is essential are the relationships. There’s nothing like a good old fashioned crisis to highlight relational deficiencies. If this season has been a tough one, if you’re beating yourself up over the things that didn’t get done, or if you’re wondering how you can adapt in a world shaped by fear and social distancing, then take a minute to get to know yourself. And ask these essential questions:
Who is keeping me accountable?
Who is asking the hard questions?
Who can I trust?
Who is challenging me?
Who is inspiring me?
And if your answer is “I don’t know” or “I don’t have anybody in my life like that,” please don’t hesitate to reach out. At Mission Driven Woman, our mission to give voice to the experiences that shape our lives and strengthen our relationships. We are here to help you be the best version of you within the context of a community that wants to learn and grow together.
Do you have a maxim that’s helping you navigate today’s challenges? If so, I’d love to know! Please leave a comment or reply to the email in your inbox. I read every single message, and I love hearing from readers.