Let's Talk About Practice!

We’re continuing our January series on motivation and goal setting. Today we’re talking about practice.

We’re Talkin’ About PRACTICE

I don’t watch a lot of basketball, but I’ll never forget hearing Allen Iverson of the Philadelphia 76ers talk about practice. Or rather, I heard Allen Iverson talk about NOT practicing. During his two and a half minute rant with the press, Iverson says the word “practice” 22 times.

And trust me, it’s not because he loves practice.

Now, more than two decades later, we’re still talking about practice. This time, in pop culture. The fictional futbol coach Ted Lasso turns the tables and schools his franchise player, Jamie Tart, on what practice really means. (Hint: it’s not just about you.)

You can watch a cool mashup of the two scenes here:

Whether a fictional futbol coach like Lasso says it is or a celebrated basketball player like Iverson says it isn’t, I think we can all agree that practice is important.

Most of us were not born sports prodigies. In order to get better at something, we have to do it the old-fashioned way—through grit and hard work—and yes, lots and lots of practice.

Remember the butterflies that tickled your tummy the first time somebody asked you to get on a bike or jump from the diving board into the deep end of the pool? Learning new skills can feel scary and even unsafe. But these everyday activities aren’t really terrifying and dangerous at all.

They ARE simply unpracticed.

Many, many hours of sustained practice go into making hard things look easy.

I read just this week of a woman who first started playing the piano at the age of 60. Now she’s in her 80s and has been playing beautifully for more than twenty years.

Humans have an infinite capacity for learning.

Practice is never wasted.

It’s hard to learn new things as we get older, but not for the reasons you might think. Acquiring new skills is harder because most older people tax their brain worrying about relationships, work, and money. These worries take their toll and hijack the gray matter that could be dedicated to curious pursuits. (We’ll talk about how to turn off worry in another post)

You know, I sometimes dream of going back to school and getting another degree. There’s a small part of me that thinks, “But Chantel, you’ll be in your 50s by the time you graduate.” And then I remember: “And how old will I be in four years if I don’t go back to school?”

What gets practiced gets perfected. Somewhere, there’s a person who has something to learn. And somewhere there’s a person who has something to share. And somewhere there are people who are making each other better because they are committed to practicing (and perfecting) together.

Don’t quit. Just practice.

Want more good stuff?

Tell me what you’d like to learn in the new year or what you’re practicing now. I’d love to know, and I read every message. :)

Four Key Questions Every Person Needs to Answer

I graduated from high school in 1992, and like every other student I knew with even a modicum of motivation, I was headed to college. The question was not “Are you going to college?” but “Where are you going to college?”

For me, it was simply the most logical next step.

The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic continues to jeopardize school enrollment., but in 2021, more than twenty million students in the United States still attend college. (Fun fact: The majority are women!)

While I don’t think college is necessarily for everyone—there are lots of ways to be successful in the world without going to college—I do think the college experience provides ready-made opportunities to engage with the world in ways that may not be available to us otherwise.

In the past, parents and teachers encouraged college for the job preparation it would provide. Some parents still nudge their kids toward the more “practical” majors. An accounting degree, after all, virtually guarantees a job offer upon graduation. And no one wants to leave college with a mountain of debt and no way to repay it. But one thing I love about the current world economy is that we truly live in a time when anything is possible, when the opportunities available to us are more often than not the ones we create ourselves, and when “working for the man” is less enticing than ever.

To be sure, The Great Resignation has been in full force since 2019 and is showing no signs of letting up anytime soon. And what do today’s workers want? Basically, they want a voice, and they want to work for companies that care. Flexibility has always been important; it’s just that prior to the pandemic a lot of people either didn’t or couldn’t take advantage of the choices available to them.

For kids standing on the threshold of this brave new world, college is but one option in an array of enticing prospects. Dr. Barry Schwartz, professor of Psychology at Swarthmore College, asserts that higher education should answer these four important questions:

1. What is worth knowing?

2. What is worth doing?

3. What makes for a good human life?

4. What are my responsibilities to other people?

I love these questions, because regardless of how the world changes in the next year or even decade, the answers remain relevant. And even as our own resources and networks continue to evolve, these questions speak to the core of who we are as people and how each of us is uniquely gifted to contribute to the greater good.

This year, I have a son who will graduate from high school. Of course, he is thinking about what’s next. And probably—PROBABLY—college is the next most logical step. But he’s already approaching this incredibly important life decision with the aplomb of a student who has lived through a recession, a war in the middle east, virtual social networking, ongoing terrorism threats, legalization of marijuana, privatization of space travel, heated political contests, same sex marriage, self-driving cars, and a global pandemic. His lived childhood experience is totally different than the one I grew up in.

None of us can predict the future, but all of us can approach the future with a full measure of curiosity and a commitment to make the world a kinder, more equitable place to live—wherever we are. If we’ve done anything right in parenting our children, it’s that we’ve encouraged our kids to dream big. Work worth doing isn’t always easy, but it is always an adventure.

What questions would you add to this list? How are you helping the young people in your life consider their next steps? I’d love to know!

Want More Good Stuff?

Six Ways to Discover your Adaptability Quotient

As kids are preparing to leave for college, parents are getting them ready by outfitting their rooms with lots of new stuff guaranteed to make their lives easier and more comfortable. A new microwave, a mini fridge, maybe even a loft bed so the kid’s room has space for a futon.

The one trait that’s more important than any other in ensuring the kid’s success isn’t anything you can purchase, but rather an aspect of the kid’s personality that you may not have even noticed.

I’m talking about a little something called adaptability.

Adaptability is literally the ability to adapt to new and changing situations.

• Can the kid make the transition and adopt the significant adjustments necessary to ensure that she’s going to be okay when everything is not okay?

• Does she welcome new opportunities with excitement or trepidation?

I’ve talked to more parents in the last couple of years who thought stability was the key to raising happy, healthy children. They chose not to take on new jobs or move houses because they didn’t want to disrupt their kids’ lives, but when the child went to college, she felt overwhelmed by all the new experiences and did not know how to assimilate them into her daily routine.

Maybe we were getting the definition of stability all wrong.

Stability, like so many things we think we value, is not a thing at all.
Stability is always about the people in our lives.

When we have people in our lives we can trust and who love us unconditionally, we share a collective strength. Change is easier because we’re doing it together.

New adventures don’t have to feel scary; they can be exciting.

One advantage that this year’s high school graduates have is that they already have a leg up when it comes to adaptability. Since March, they’ve had to adjust not only their experiences in the present, but their expectations about the future as well.

Let’s explore six of these significant adjustments one-by-one. I am doing this from a Christian perspective because that’s how I process the world. However, I also believe that these questions are important regardless of your worldview. (Adapted from Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby)

Six Aspects of Adaptability

1) Thinking: How do you feel about your current circumstances? With what kinds of things are you filling your mind? How are you approaching learning? (Our kids don’t often tell us what they’re thinking. You may have to be ultra casual with this question, maybe catch them off guard, when you’re in the car together or sitting around the dinner table.)

2) Circumstances: Is there anything causing stress in your life? Are you paying attention to events both in your life and in your environment? What is going on around you that tells you God is working? (I love this last question because it helps us see purpose in events that don’t make sense)

3) Relationships: Who are you listening to? Who do you admire? Is there a toxic relationship you need to remove from your life? (Now is the time to solidify the relationships that matter and welcome new people who share your values into your life.)

4) Commitments: Are you over-committed? On the flip side, is there anything you need to add to what you are already doing? Are you available? (Remember: no one gets a trophy for being busy. Leave room for opportunity.)

5) Actions: What do you need to prioritize? Is there anything you’re not doing that you should be doing? Is there anything you are doing that you need to stop doing? How can you love people better? (Disappointment can easily lead to apathy; be intentional. The payoff is worth the effort.)

6) Beliefs: Do you believe that God is who he says he is and that he will do what he says he’ll do? Do you believe that what he does is always in your best interest? And do you believe that God can use you to accomplish his purpose? (Even if you don’t believe these things, living like you do is often the best testimony.)

And most importantly, would you be willing to sacrifice your own hopes and dreams for a higher purpose?

I haven’t always been the most easy-going person, and I know change can be a scary thing. Many of us feel threatened by change. We like stability and crave predictability. But one thing I do know: I don’t want to be afraid to say yes to new adventures. Learning how to adapt to the things I choose is much more fun than having to adjust to the things I didn’t.

As your child prepares to leave your nest, they need to know you’re not pushing them out. You want them to go. To fly. To soar. They need your blessing, and they also need to know there’s always a safe place for them with you.

Stability ensures adaptability.

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