How 9/11 Changed My View of Motherhood

They say that your worldview is forever shaped by the way the world is when you are in your 20s.

When I was 27, my world changed forever.

This week, I watched coverage of the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy in the United States, and like you, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news. I was a new mom, with a two-year old and a brand new baby. That baby was only a week old, and when the twin towers fell, I felt my hopes and dreams for that child fall with them.

To be sure, that day changed the world for all of us, bringing evil near and replacing freedom with fear. In those first days and weeks, I wondered what our new lives would look like. I remember my heart beating fast as I thought about about all the “maybes'“ and “what ifs” of a future I could not see.

In time, two more children joined our family, but I no longer fear for their future. I no longer worry over the circumstances that will shape their lives.

Is it because the world is safer now than it was twenty years ago?
Is it because I’ve buried my head in the sand and decided to turn my head from violence, disaster, sickness, and war?
Or is it because I simply have more courage today than I did back then?

After all, didn’t Jesus command us not to worry? (Matthew 6:25-34)

That last one is true, BUT NO, the real reason I don’t worry as much is because I finally realized that:

God’s solution to big problems has always been a baby.

Those helpless babies I rocked twenty years ago are part of God’s plan to restore the world.

It was Isaac,

the first son of God’s promise to Abraham, who became the legacy of a great nation.

It was Moses,

whose mother tucked him in a basket and sent him down the river, who delivered the Israelites from Pharaoh.

It was Samuel,

whose mother dedicated him to God before he was even born, who became a priest, a judge, and a prophet, and who anointed both Saul and David as kings of Israel.

And it was Jesus,

who came to us as a baby and saved the world from sin. It was him who preached of sacrifice and love and who ultimately calls us not to hide but to be a light in this dark world.

Whether we have children or not, we all started out as babies, and we all have the same opportunity to do good wherever we are.

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.

—F. Scott Fitzgerald

Looking back, I’m embarrassed that I felt fear for the new life in my arms. After all, God trusted me with that child (and three others). And as long as the earth continues to turn on its axis, I believe he’ll keep using babies to bring peace and hope. Mine are growing up fast, and I’m so proud of them.

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