I used to have a friend who turned down every party invitation, date, and dinner invite hat came her way. She never asked anyone to her house, either. Not because she didn’t want to go or even because she didn’t like people (she did!), but because she wanted everything to be perfect. She wanted to lose five pounds before she would say yes to the date or order that special piece of furniture before extending that dinner invite. The problem was that even when she lost the weight she couldn’t find the right outfit. Or when the furniture finally arrived, she decided she needed to paint the dining room, too. My always-late and never-ready friend discovered something pretty depressing about “perfect.”
Perfect doesn’t even exist!
The time to love your imperfect life is now.
But how do you do that? Easier said than done, right.
Wrong! What if I told you there are a few little tips and tricks to make right now feel like right WOW.
1) Stay far, far away from the comparison trap. It will get you every time! When I focus on all the good things happening in other people’s lives, I overlook the wonderful things happening in my own. The reality is that there will always be people who have more than you and people who have less. Rather than focusing on who those people are, take a look at your own life and ask yourself, “What good can I do today with what I do have?” And whether that’s your health, or your money, or your time, you’ll surely be able to find a place to invest it. And you know what happens with wise investments? They grow!
2) Make a practical to-do list. Focus on what can be accomplished and what’s actually attainable. Maybe you can’t buy a new house right now or change jobs, but you can add fresh paint or volunteer with an organization that needs exactly your skills. Life is not a competition or a race. Celebrate the small wins. My friend wanted her house to be perfect, but she didn’t realize that her friends didn’t care about her house. They cared about her. Don’t let your someday dreams get in the way of your everyday life. Plus, I’ve learned that getting what we want when we want it isn’t always what’s best for us. If you’re in a season of in-betweens, ask yourself, “What am I learning from this experience?”
3) Pull out the gratitude jar. My daughter has a jar she keeps in her room with the words “gratitude” etched along the side. The jar arrived with a set of cards for writing down notes of thanksgiving. Using the jar makes a big difference in her attitude and outlook. Science confirms that practicing gratitude releases us from toxic emotions and over time, even changes the brain!
4) Practice generosity. Look at your life and the lives around you with fresh eyes. If there’s something you want to change, approach it clearly and sensibly. Shifting the focus from ourselves to others ensures we don’t become too selfish. And I know from experience that I love my own life more when I’m less consumed with it. Doing what we can for other people gets us out of our own heads. We feel useful. Generosity gives our lives purpose and meaning. And who doesn’t want more of that? A recent study even indicates that nine out of ten people will say yes to less money as long as their work has purpose.
5) Remind yourself of what is true. Sometimes, crappy things happen to us, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Sometimes, we get stuck in a rut and we think, “This is never going to get better.” And you know what? Maybe it won’t. I don’t know. But I do know that even when I can’t change other people or the circumstances that are outside my control, I can change myself. I do have control over my own negative thoughts and emotions. I also find it helpful to remember that practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does make “better.” Our lives are filled with beautiful things. There are people who love us. Most importantly, God loves us! I’m always encouraged by this verse:
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
And I don’t know about you. But I don’t want to carry everything by myself. It’s a relief that God’s in charge. He’s perfect, so Iwe don’t have to be. Let’s not waste a single day.
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