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Mission Driven Monday--Monica Lage

Meet Monica Lage!

What started as a senior project grew to be one of the premier entrepreneur camps in the country.

Meet Monica Lage, the founder of Break Into Business, where kids move from idea to pitch to profitable business in just five short days. Monica says launching Break Into Business and being present for her children is the hardest thing she's ever done. (And this is coming from a person who has an MBA from Harvard!) She makes it look easy, but don't be fooled--Monica has worked VERY, VERY hard.

One of the things I love most about the Break Into Business business model is its emphasis on generosity. That's a core value of Monica's, too, and it shines through loud and clear. Monica is following her mission, not the madness, and inspiring hundreds of kids along the way.

In THIS interview, Monica confesses that she's learning how to be INefficient. What? You'll have to watch to find out what she means.

Want to learn more about how your kid can be a part of Break Into Business? Click here!

If you have a child between the ages of 9-14 and live in the Atlanta area, this is a summer camp worth exploring!

Kids build real businesses and have the chance to earn real money. And this summer is extra special—camps just for GIRLS and even a camp for kids who want to learn more about SOCIAL ENTREPRENEURSHIP are available. Campers also have the opportunity to sign up for one of Break Into Business’s fall accelerator programs. USE CODE GIRLBOSS FOR $30 OFF GIRLS CAMP THROUGH 5/17/2019.

My own son participated in camp for four straight summers and loved every minute of it. He loved hanging out in Atlanta’s coolest co-working spaces, pitching his business, and coming home with cold, hard cash in his hands. I am a thoroughly satisfied customer and recommend B. Camp without reservation!

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The Best Answer to "What Are You Going to Do With Your Life?"

My daughter was so stressed out in high school. Not because the coursework was too hard or because the peer pressure was too much, but because no sooner did she say, “i’m a Freshman,” that invariably the next question out of someone’s mouth would be, “So have you started thinking about where you want to go to college?” Now she’s a freshman in college, and everywhere she goes, someone asks, “So what do you want to do when you graduate?”

Did YOU know what you wanted to do when you were a freshman in college?

There’s a lot of people who have stories about being in kindergarten and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they wanted to be a doctor or a teacher. They grew up and did the thing they dreamed of doing all their lives. But people like that are rare. And some of them found out AFTER going to college (after internships and clinicals and student teaching) that those careers weren’t right for them after all.

I can almost see my daughter’s jaw tense and shoulders slump when someone asks her this question. I totally get it because even as a 45 year old, I hate it when people ask me what I want to do. (I should know by now, right?)

Luckily, my husband has come up with a great answer:

“You know, I really don’t know what I want to do yet. I’m trying to focus on the person I want to become, so I’m taking classes in leadership and business as I prepare for what’s next.”

Don’t you just love that? Wouldn’t it be great if we all could focus more on the person we want to become rather than the thing we want to do?

On my way to where I am today, I worked as a trainer in a gym, a receptionist for a Chiropractor, the Member Services Director for a trade association, a consultant for for a developer, a researcher for an author, and dozens of volunteer positions in schools, hospices, churches, homeless shelters and other nonprofits. I’ve built my own nonprofit from scratch, written a children’s book, led book clubs and adventure clubs, and been a room parent and a team parent and all those things prepared me not only for what I’m doing now but for who I am becoming.

I feel like I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove that my work mattered. I’m tired of proving myself. I’ll never lead a Fortune 500 company or be a board room dynamo. No one is going to nominate me for a prestigious alumnae award, but I’m proud of the life I’ve built. It has to be enough—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

The next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to say, “I study and write about character and leadership as I prepare for what’s next.”

And what’s that?

I don’t know yet, but I love the adventure of becoming me.

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You Can REST, but You Can't QUIT

There’s nothing like the month of May to remind you how tired you are. Moms and kids alike are counting down the days until school is out and dropping the ball on all sorts of stuff. You may remember this blog post by Jen Hatmaker that went viral a few years ago:

A few weeks ago, I forgot to take my son to church. The church we’ve been attending every single Sunday for the last ten years. The church where my husband is the actual pastor. That church. As I was getting off the exit, Aaron called me and said, “Forgetting someone?”

Whoops.

In my defense, I normally drive two kids to church on Sunday, and since my younger daughter had a friend spend the night the night before, I did have two kids in the car—one was mine, and one was our neighbor.

So yeah, I forget someone. And I didn’t even have time to go back home and get him.

Two weeks after that, I forgot about a club meeting being hosted at my house. I might have begun thinking I was in the early stages of Alzheimers, but since my co-leader forgot about the meeting too, and she’s nearly a decade younger than me, I didn’t feel so bad.

We’re all in this together, folks.

May is filled wth sports tournaments, dances, end of year parties, and tests. Our brains are TIRED.

I was behind a bus on my way home from a meeting yesterday afternoon, and I counted 17 kids who all exited the bus while staring down at their phones. They were zombies.

But who could blame them? If I wasn’t the one driving, I probably would have been staring at my phone too! And truly, I do find myself zoning out at the end of everyday. It’s a conscious effort to keep going.

(This is the quote that hangs in my daughter’s room. She’s a runner.)

Unless you puke, faint, or die KEEP GOING.
— Jillian Michaels

I don’t want to wish away May. It’s a beautiful month. We’ve finally said goodbye to winter. The grass is green, the trees are filled with leaves, and warm weather greets us every morning. The key to having an awesome May is the key to every busy season: PREPARATION.

In September, I know that May is going to be busy. This should not be a surprise. I have a calendar. I know what sports my kids’ play. I know there will banquets and teacher appreciation and graduation parties. I know all of this MONTHS in advance. None of it should take me by surprise.

1) Begin stocking the gift closet after Christmas or at least take notes on things you see that would make great gifts. These are some of my favorite go-to gifts for graduates: You can purchase this or this and it will be here in two days. And of course, cash is always appreciated. No advance planning necessary.

2) Plan easy meals: My kid-friendly favorites are these Ham & Cheese Party Sandwiches, Homemade Pizzas, or anything that uses a grocery store rotisserie chicken (Chicken & Noodles, Chicken Tacos, Broccoli Rice)

3) Remember to exercise. This is the one thing you’ll be tempted to drop immediately. After all, who has time to exercise? I say, who has time not to? I love to work out in the morning, but during this season, I realized I just couldn’t do that every day. On the days I can, I do, but on the days that are just too busy I settle for running up to my gym while my daughter is at dance. I can only get in 30-40 minutes, but that’s enough time to do what I need to do. Plus, I don’t feel guilty about wasting time in the car or resentful because I didn’t get to exercise at all. If all else fails, just take the dogs for an extra lap down the street. That’s all it takes—a little bit extra and you’ll feel great.

4) Schedule a day to spend time with friends. There’s a lot to celebrate, but in May it’s almost never about you. Even Mother’s Day comes with pressure to honor our own parents and grandparents and spend time with our children. It’s lovely, of course, but celebrations are important for morale. They give us hope and remind us that we have friends and purpose, and that life is fun. Grab coffee with a friend, go for a walk together, see a movie while the kids are in school. (I did this today and lingered an hour longer than I probably should have, and I don’t regret it for one second.)

5) This post is about rest. It’s about taking a break for a moment when what really sounds good is taking a break forever. As the school year draws to a close and the kids are cleaning out their desks and throwing out all their old papers, think about how you can implement this same ritual at home. This is a great time for you to take a personal inventory of all the things you really don’t need anymore (Say goodbye to all the yucky water bottles and lunch boxes. Say goodbye to all those papers you’ve been saving just in case.). Get rid of the stuff you can see, and then get rid of the stuff on your calendar. What do you want to continue? What is coming to a natural end? What makes you feel alive?

Enjoy your summer, and we’ll talk about next year in August.

See you soon!

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Mission Driven Monday--Kim Gentry Meyer

Meet Kim Gentry Meyer!

Kim Meyer is an accomplished singer and songwriter with a passion for animal welfare. She's channeling her creativity and love for animals into a brand new project aimed at helping kids understand how to better care for animals. Kim is partnering with a children’s book author to write an accompanying soundtrack full of songs about animals. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Kim is living the dream alongside her husband, Adam, in Boston, MA. In this conversation, we explore how you don't have to be the BEST at one thing as long as you can be PRETTY GOOD at two or three different things. "Use all you have," is a motto we won't soon forget. Thanks for following your mission, Kim!

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’
— Erma Bombeck

Important Links from this Episode:

Animal Welfare Work: What Baxter Started

Kim’s Music:

Connect with Kim: Instagram Handle and Facebook

whatbaxterstarted.com and https://www.facebook.com/whatbaxterstarted/


The children's songs she wrote for the two books will be available at this site: https://petpunditpublishing.com/. The website is currently being redone, but they will be up soon. Stay tuned!

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Why You Must Set Goals in Order to Succeed

Insecurity and uncertainty are significant sources of organizational stress.

They are also significant sources of life stress. You don’t have to work at a 9-5 to feel insecure and uncertain. In fact, if you don’t have a regular job you might feel even more insecure and uncertain than the guy who has an office job.

Setting goals is an important part of daily satisfaction.

Even if you aren’t the CEO, even if you don’t work in an actual office, and even if the only people you think are counting on you are the kind that can barely count to ten, setting goals and achieving them make us feel successful and strong in our chosen line of work.

SETTING GOALS IS NOT:

  • Setting goals is NOT a to-do list (although you will most assuredly have some to-dos to get done).

  • Setting goals is NOT about productivity (although you will be more productive).

  • Setting goals is NOT a competition (unless you’re the type of person that likes to be competitive with yourself).

I haven’t worked in a “real” office in nearly twenty years, but every month I meet with an accountability partner to ensure I’m setting and meeting my goals.

We used to tick off our wins, challenges, take-aways, and goals, but last month we broke out a new template that addresses the things we care about in a more wholistic way. You can download the worksheet we use here or simply start out by writing down your plan for each of the growth areas listed below:

  • Career

  • Self Growth

  • Social

  • Physical

  • One Word Focus:

  • Quote of the Week:

Knowing I have a scheduled meeting every single month at the same time means I have to allot time for each of the activities I’ve said are important. I don’t want to meet with Jen and have to tell her I didn’t do anything on my list. When I meet my goals, she is inspired, and when she meets hers, I’m equally stoked. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be writing these blog posts every week, I wouldn’t have been so consistent with Mission Driven Monday, and I don’t think I would have had the foresight or drive to dream up any of the 52 week series I’ve been working on. (You can download the DREAM BIG series here.)

Jen asks me hard questions, forces me to write down exactly what I want to achieve, and encourages me to nail down the steps I need to take to get there. Even when it looks like I’m not doing anything, all I have to do is look back at that piece of paper where I wrote down my goals for the month and see that yes, I actually do have a plan for my life.

Want to be more productive?
More accountable?
Overcome your procrastination?
And achieve more?

Start with the one-week goal setting worksheet and find a partner that’s not afraid to ask, “Hey, did you do it?” And if you’re really, really lucky, you’ll find not just one partner but a whole network of people who are brave enough to ask the most important question of all:

How can I help?

If you’re ready to take it to the next level, I’ve got a treat for you!

Mission Driven Monday--Sarah Sasson

Meet Sarah Sasson!

Are you a risk taker?

That was the question I asked Sarah Sasson, Founder/Executive Director of Kula Project, an organization that provides industry training, business investment, and life and leadership skills in Rwanda. When I first met Sarah, she was a jet-setting woman on-the-go, with one foot firmly planted here in the United States and one straddling the ocean and chasing her heart to the faraway beauty of Rwanda, Africa.

Today, the incredible fellows of Kula Project are building profitable businesses, raising healthy families, and sending their children to school. It didn’t happen overnight, but rather over many, many years of fostering strong relational ties and empowering leaders—young and old alike.

In this episode, Sarah and I talk about the highs and lows of running a nonprofit, celebrating wins, and enjoying hobbies that have their own measurable results. I asked Sarah if she was a risk taker because I've always felt like she was a girl who knew how to take adventure to the nth degree. You know what? She's just like you and me. She's following her mission, not the madness, and that has made all the difference in the world.

Important links from this episode:

Check out the beautiful photography on her site! You can even sponsor a budding entrepreneur. And if you’d like to buy some of the yummy coffee produced by the Kula fellows, you can do that here.

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It’s time to DREAM BIG!

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Mission Driven Monday--Amber Robinson

Meet Amber Robinson!

I met Amber at the Indiana Christian Writers Conference back in 2012. She was writing a book called Mercy Rising and working on a number of other projects. But she's not only a writer--she's a composer, pianist, and teacher, and her newest book, Piano Lessons for Kids, is making waves across the U.S. In this episode, we talk about Essentialism, Mission Statements, the lives we live, and the legacies we leave. I wish we lived in the same city because I know my life would be better if I could make time with Amber a regular part of it. Amber will inspire you to make music, create art, and just get out there and PLAY. Be like Amber and follow your mission, not the madness. I’m cheering for you!

Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.
— Booker T. Washington

Thinking Tree Books: This is an awesome resource! You’ve heard of home-schooling and un-schooling, but have you ever heard of FUN-schooling?

Mercy Rising: Simple Ways to Practice Justice and Compassion

Piano Lessons for Kids: Piano Lessons for Kids is the inventive book that unleashes a student’s imagination and love for music! This self-paced, 168-page book spans a semester or a school year, depending how often you visit the subject – once or multiple times in a week.

Adults need no prior musical training and are encouraged to learn right along with their kids. The audio/video materials make this possible.

Students will learn not just to read notes, but also to hear music, compose, and tell a story with the piano – all with songs they really want to play. Separating it from other method books and online programs.

This book – with essential audio/video instruction – solves the problem of having to purchase separate books for note reading, music theory, listening skills, and composing – it’s all here, in one book.

Essentialism: This book by Greg McKeown is THE BOMB, and if you’ve ever struggled with saying YES to too many things, this is the book to help you prioritize well.

The 90:90:1 Rule: For the next 90 days, devote the first 90 minutes of your work day to the one best opportunity in your life. Nothing else. Zero distractions. Just get that project done. Period.

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Mission Driven Monday--Amber Humphries

Meet Amber Humphries!

The motto at Mission Driven Woman is "Follow your mission, not the madness." It's a joy to meet someone who is fully embracing her mission, and Amber's is "Peaceful Home, Adventurous Life." She is an entrepreneur, blogger, speaker, and singer/songwriter. Amber’s many talents have led her to embrace saying "no" to fear (she's a city girl turned mountain woman) and “yes” to inspiring and empowering women in all stages of life transition. Amber is thoughtful and wise. One of my favorite parts of this conversation was when we talked about success and what that looks like during different moments in our lives. Also, I love the idea of warring opposites, and it seems to be a common theme among the women I interview: Big and Small, Open and Closed, More and Less.

People often say to Amber, “Wow! You’re living your dream life!”

Her response—”Why aren’t YOU living your dream life?”

Fun fact: Amber and her husband composed our Forever We theme song, and Amber sings the lead vocals. You can listen to the song here.

Important Links from this Episode:

blog http://www.citymousemountainhouse.cominsta @citymousemountainhouse
music http://www.jaredandambermusic.cominsta @jaredandamber
health journey http://www.amberhumphries.cominsta @amberhumphries
lipstick: https://www.beautycounter.com/product/beautycounter-red

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Adaptability IS Creativity

Last night we had a bunch of fifth graders over for dinner. The table was loud and boisterous, with lots of joke-telling and talking over one another. Every girl wanted to be the center of attention. They are getting ready to go to middle school, so I guess they are already fighting for their place in the social hierarchy. They don’t know it yet, but it’s not the loudest, wittiest, or coolest who will ultimately prevail.

It’s the one who can adapt in the face of adversity.

I served dessert (a gooey brownie pudding cake with ice cream) and shooed them all outside.

Not five minutes later, the herd bounded back up the stairs. During a game of rainbow tag, one of the colors they were using fell down a deep hole and could not be retrieved. Everyone had an idea about how to get it out. All the ideas, including using a pair of kitchen tongs to reach into the hole, all came up short. The color was lost forever.

Game over.

Or was it?

  1. They could remove a color on the other side of the yard, so that the colors would still be evenly distributed on both sides of the yard.

  2. They could come up with another option for the lost color. (We have a craft bin full of supplies!)

  3. They could play a different version of tag. (Trust me, there are about 100 to choose from!)

  4. Or they could continuing arguing and blaming one another for dropping the color down the hole!

My daughter wailed, “This is why I hate having a bunch of people over! No one listens! This isn’t fun!”

So dramatic.

I used to think being creative and being good at art were the same thing. I thought all the people who could sing and dance and paint and draw got all the talent. It wasn’t until I became an adult and had to solve real world problems that I realized it’s not artistic ability but rather adaptability that contributes to genuine creativity. And creativity plus adaptability equals success. On the playground and in the boardroom.

“Adaptability,” I said calmly to my daughter. Her dark eyes bored into mine. She knew what I meant (because we’ve talked about this before). What could she do? She turned on her heels and walked back down the stairs.

All gifts must be cultivated, and creativity is no exception.

The girls at my house are leaders in their classrooms and on their sports teams. Their teachers love them. They help out with the younger kids, are often picked to spearhead service projects, and usually land extra privileges, like monitoring field day games, at the end of the year. When they all get together, however, everyone wants to be in charge. It can get a little chaotic. I’m a mom, not a referee. They’re not in preschool anymore. Pouting is not allowed. Instead, I want to teach them how to adapt when things don’t go their way.

Leadership isn’t about bossing people around, and creativity isn’t about being able to wield a crayon. They are learning how to do both in the context of play.

The girls stayed outside for two more hours. I don’t know if they continued their game of rainbow tag. But based on the way they looked when they came back inside, I’m guessing they found something to do with the remaining colors.

One bloody toe and a jammed bathroom door later, and everyone went home happy and tired.

I always knew play was good for the soul. There’s tons of research on that front. You can check it out here and here. Are you ensuring that your child can adapt to change? Are you?

It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.
— Leon C. Megginson

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5 Ways to Grow Your Resume as a Stay-at-Home Mom

I wish I had a dollar for all the times someone has asked me, “Are you just a mom?”

When my kids were little, I got this question all the time. I didn’t know how to respond. What did that even mean?

Am I just a mom?

I wanted to say, “ Are you just an accountant? Just a teacher? Just a dentist?”

I’ve been a mom for almost 20 years, and in all that time I can honestly say that I was never (not once) just a mom.

Sometimes I’ll hear moms say they’re dishwashers and chauffeurs and tutors and short order cooks.

All true.

But they are also managers, CEOs, advisors, and attorneys.

Now I think it’s one of the most useless questions an adult can ask a child—What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.
— Becoming, Michelle Obama

You are not just a mom, although the long days spent wiping snotty noses and changing dirty diapers can trick you into thinking it’s work that will never end.

You don’t have to wish those days away. In the midst of all that has to be done, there are things you can do to bump up the wow factor on your resume.

1) Volunteer. No good work is ever wasted. I spent a decade volunteering at a local hospice, even though I had no desire ever to become a health practitioner myself. Those years taught me how to live well, how to be with people in the midst of their pain, and how to navigate hard conversations—skills I value to this day.

2) Contract a few hours a week. Find extra hours in your day to do something you love—and get paid for it. When I had extra time, I reached out to a mentor of mine to see if there was anything I could do to help her with her own work. Because she was a writer, I was able to assist with research, eventually gaining enough experience to write special features and small articles for our community magazine.

3) Lead something in your community. My husband and I have always attended church. It’s part of our weekly routine, and for a season I coordinated something called Sisters of Support. Basically, the SOS was a network of volunteers commissioned to bring meals to families experiencing hardship in our community. I coordinated the volunteers and supplemented what was needed on a weekly basis by making an extra chicken pot pie or batch of brownies here and there. I was already cooking for my own family, so making extra was no big deal. I led a team of almost 80 volunteers, and I was able to do it all from the comfort of my own kitchen workspace.

4) Find a place to network. I would have gone crazy if I had stayed home all the time. Being a mom is hard work. When my kids were little, I joined my local sorority alumnae group. Each month’s meeting promised the opportunity to meet someone interesting or learn something new. Eventually, I was elected President, and so in addition to the new friendships, I gained valuable leadership experience. Sisterhood doesn’t have to end just because college does!

5) Cultivate hobbies. The worst thing you can do is to spend so much time caring for your kids that you lose yourself. If there’s something you love to do, keep doing it. Just being a mom allowed me the freedom to experiment in the kitchen (I even learned how to use a sous vide), go on long walks (sometimes with a kid—or four—in tow), read books (you can learn a lot from reading children’s books, and I’ve led lots of kid lit book clubs), and practice writing (look, I’m still doing it! :))

Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re just a mom. There’s something to learn in every season. And even if you don’t incorporate any of the suggestions listed above into your daily routine, I guarantee you’re gaining valuable experience leading people, managing teams, organizing your household, strategizing for the future, and TCB’ing all that other stuff employers think is important.

You’re a rock star! Keep going!

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Journaling as Art

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
— Benjamin Franklin
The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.
— Gustave Flaubert
Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers
— Isaac Asimov

I have always loved to write.

I’ve spent my whole life writing. Unfortunately, a lot of journals from my childhood were maimed or destroyed. And I’m the only one to blame. When I read them later in life, I was embarrassed about some of the things I wrote. Knowing I would be mortified if anyone read the words I penned, I scribbled out things and tore out pages. I know I’m a different person than I was back in those days, but the world will never know about the conversations that shaped my current thinking, the people I loved and hated, and the unfounded worries and fears that colored my early years.

In an old hope chest of my grandmother’s, I discovered one of her old journals. It begins with these words, “Today I turn 20. Gee, but I still feel just 16!” There’s a couple of months of truly boring entries that read like an agenda and then seven full years of radio silence. She probably felt a lot like me—either she didn’t think her life was interesting enough to write about or she didn’t want to remember a reality that was painful at the time. My grandmother has been dead since 1987, so I’ll never know for sure what the 1920s meant to her. I do know this, though. If you want to really understand a person, all you have to do is look at what was going on in the world when they were in their 20s.

Maybe that’s why I have five journals now. Maybe it’s my feeble attempt to be known and remembered by all who come after me. Maybe it’s how I make sense of a world gone topsy turvy.

I was in my 20s during the 1990s, a time rife with terrorism scares and the Gulf War, when grunge was in and the characters of Friends and Seinfeld seemed to be having all the fun. My 20s included the Oklahoma City bombing, the explosion of TWA Flight 800, the Centennial Olympic Park bombing, the Columbine High School shooting, Y2K, and of the course the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. No wonder everyone my age is so afraid of everything.

I thought getting older would take longer.
— Heather Burton


Once as our family was on our way to Hilton Head, our best friends and neighbors were coming home from their vacation in Hilton Head. The kids in our car were texting the kids in their car, making sure that we waved as we passed on the interstate both going 70+ miles/hour in opposite directions. It was a blur, all hands waving frantically out of the car windows on both sides, the kids in our car screaming, “They’re coming! There they are! They are!” But really it was just a whoosh. There they went.

It is the sound of our everyday, as we cook and drive and clean and care for our families. Time marches on, whether we acknowledge it or not. We count down the days until vacation or graduation or Christmas or till the kids are out of the house. "It’s almost here,” we shout, and then it’s gone, and before we know it we are 25 and having our first baby and 33 and having our last, 40 and everybody’s in school and suddenly our firstborn is in college.

I don’t like to talk about getting older because at my age, the trend is to play a game of Who’s the sickest? The most tired? Had the most surgeries? Sleeps the worst at night?

I don’t mind getting older.
I just don’t want to look older or feel older.

So maybe that’s why I write. I write because writing is so firmly grounded in the present. It’s right now and it’s write(!) now.

I write to remember, but also to dream.

In between graduating from college and building my family, I wrote it all down, and apparently (from what gleaned from a recent re-read of an old journal) I was really, really tired. So very, very tired.

Today, I keep five separate journals. They are stacked on my desk, scattered on the couch, stuffed in bags.

Prayer Journal: where I write down a favorite Bible verse everyday and keep track of prayer requests. (I love to look back and see how God answered those prayers.)

Dinner Journal: where I write down what I cook every single night of the week. (Boring? Maybe. But when I’m feeling stuck, I can always look back and go, “Oh I forgot about that recipe!”)

Book Notes Journal: where I write down things I want to remember from books I’m reading. (A book is never a waste of time, and how else would I be able to internalize all those nuggets of wisdom?)

Creativity Journal: where I write down questions I’m thinking about and interesting things I’m pondering from articles I read or people I meet. (This is the one journal I’d be devastated to lose! It’s how I make sense of everything happening around me.)

Line a Day Journal: Where I write down what’s going on with our family, sometimes an interesting quote, or even a note about the weather. (This book is the condensed Readers Digest version of the story of my life.)

It might be nice to have just one journal where I could keep everything neat and organized, but I don’t write in every journal every day, and I don’t fill up the journals at the same rate. Plus, my life isn’t neat and organized so why should the recording of it be that way? My life is messy, but beautiful in all the best ways.

I know a lot of people that don’t keep a journal because they just haven’t found one that works for them. I’ve never understood that argument. We are not consumers; we’re creators. The act of creating a system that works for you is cathartic in itself. My journals feel like art to me, each one an unique symbol of the life I’ve both created and lived.

Multiple journals are way better than my old system—a labyrinth of sticky notes scattered all over the house—jammed in books, stuffed in drawers, and attached to the insides of cabinets. Finding those notes later often left me wondering if I were drunk or crazy when I wrote them. Let us not confuse laziness for art.

Get a journal. Write it down. You are an artist.

It Only Takes a Spark

I love to work out. In fact, I started running on an exercise trampoline when I was just nine years old. I still have one, and on days I don’t make it to the gym, I trek down to my basement, turn on a cooking show and run like my life depends on it. Actually, it’s more of a steady jog, but I’m nothing if not consistent, and this is one habit I’ve been faithful to for the past 35 years. My husband, Gavin, is always saying I need to challenge myself and change up the workout in order to jump start my metabolism and get my body to do respond in new ways. I realized how much I am a creature of habit. Change is so hard!

Speaking of change, I read that making just one small change to your everyday routine can ignite your imagination and make the synapses fire in new ways. This is encouraging news because we don’t have to make big changes in our everyday routine to experience dynamic growth in our everyday lives, businesses, and families.

While my kids are on Winter Break this week I’ve got some time to experiment. Here’s 25 ideas for you, too. I’d love to know about any of your creative breakthroughs, so feel free to share in the comments!

  • Drink tea instead of coffee.

  • Take a bath instead of a shower.

  • Sleep on the opposite side of the bed.

  • Eat dinner for breakfast.

  • Walk the dogs down a different street.

  • Call instead of text.

  • Write a letter instead of call.

  • Turn off the radio in the car.

  • Eat with chopsticks instead of a fork.

  • Part your hair on a different side.

  • Shop at an unfamiliar grocery store.

  • Substitute couscous for rice.

  • Wear bold lipstick.

  • Dance in the rain

  • Put together a jigsaw puzzle.

  • Leave the beds unmade.

  • Take a nap.

  • Wake up an hour early.

  • Unroll a ball of string.

  • Ride down the street with the windows down.

  • Eat something you’ve never tried.

  • Take the bus and go somewhere new.

  • Make some homemade bread.

  • Light a scented candle.

  • Read something from a different genre than you normally do.

Whether you are in a season of busyness or have some down time, there’s something on this list you can try. As I look at the list now, I see some things that would probably make me downright uncomfortable. I always make the beds, so leaving them unmade might cause me more angst than inspiration, but I will never know until I try it! I may feel mildly uncomfortable with my hair parted on a different side, or cold if I’m dancing in the rain in the middle of February. I may find the process of making homemade bread cathartic. The jigsaw puzzle might be infuriating, but the downtime and the intellectual struggle are exercise for my brain.

And speaking of exercise, I dragged myself down to the gym this morning and tried a Spin Class. I was so sweaty when I finished.

Here’s to trying new things and experiencing new ideas!

Spark Joy and Give Thanks: Our Annual Favorite Things Party

We’re already in the middle of February, and I can hardly believe it’s been six weeks since I wrote down goals for the year and started thinking about what I wanted 2019 to look like. I chose a word, and my word was DYNAMIC, which I still love because dynamic means change and change is always fun. There’s always something new to tackle. But change can also be scary because there’s lots of unexpected stuff that happens too. And in the midst of all that uncertainty, sometimes the only thing you can do is choose joy.

Joy is a bit of a buzz word these days.

We are seeing it everywhere. Netflix has a new show called Tidying Up where clients are encouraged to keep the things that spark joy and discard the things that don’t. (We’ve been trying this out in our house, and so far, I’m loving it!)

But I’m noticing the word is popping up in all kinds of unexpected places.

And I love it because let’s be honest—who doesn’t want more joy in their life?

One of the ways my friends and I celebrate joy is through our annual Favorite Things Party. While “gifts” are definitely my love language, it isn’t just the gifts that make the Favorite Things Party my favorite party of the year.

It’s the friendships and the memories we’re creating together. Three of my best friends and I got together last weekend for our party. We always plan it far in advance because if we didn’t, this little thing called life would hijack all our plans and make it nearly impossible to meet up at all. But despite sickness and scheduled sports, we forged ahead and made our night happen. And it was worth every minute.

This year, we stayed overnight at a boutique hotel less than an hour from our house. We had appetizers and then headed to a cooking class where we made homemade pasta and chocolate truffles and a salad filled with vegetables cut by mandoline (something we’re all scared to use), and then we all exchanged presents and stayed up too late. It was like a sleepover but without the ghost stories and the junk food and frozen bras.

I came home with all kinds of wonderful things: a silk pillowcase, new rainbow-colored resin earrings, some pink wool sneakers from Cole Hahn, a crepe pan and mix, a jar of Jif chocolate cheesecake spread, the perfect pink Mac lipstick, some awesome jammies from Anthropologie (which you’ll probably see me wearing around town), a Sugarboo book of quotes about being an Exquisite lady, a lovely box of chocolates, new pens, and some Caldrea countertop spray that smells Ahh-mazing. (And if you know me at all, you know countertops are the one thing in my house that I like to clean religiously.)

Here’s some photos from this year’s party:

This one is of us and our chef. He had an awesome Georgia accent, and I think we were his favorite students. (It was Date Night: Italy, and everyone else in the class was with their sweetheart. We made lots of “That’s what she said” jokes, but I’m n…

This one is of us and our chef. He had an awesome Georgia accent, and I think we were his favorite students. (It was Date Night: Italy, and everyone else in the class was with their sweetheart. We made lots of “That’s what she said” jokes, but I’m not sure if anyone else but us found them funny.

Nicole, Allie, Ginny, and me. We realized tonight that this was our SIXTH year together celebrating our favorite things and our favorite people!

Nicole, Allie, Ginny, and me. We realized tonight that this was our SIXTH year together celebrating our favorite things and our favorite people!

Nicole and Allie—Here these two are making ravioli sheets. They’re pretty much professional chefs now.

Nicole and Allie—Here these two are making ravioli sheets. They’re pretty much professional chefs now.

Here I am getting my hands messy in the pasta dough while Ginny calmly drinks a tiny cup of coffee. Don’t worry—we put her to work later!

Here I am getting my hands messy in the pasta dough while Ginny calmly drinks a tiny cup of coffee. Don’t worry—we put her to work later!

And here’s the haul! In some ways, I love Favorite Things more than Christmas. I spend all year thinking about all the wonderful things I love and want to give away to my friends. Counting down the weeks until the next party. I’m already making my l…

And here’s the haul! In some ways, I love Favorite Things more than Christmas. I spend all year thinking about all the wonderful things I love and want to give away to my friends. Counting down the weeks until the next party. I’m already making my list. Until next year….

I don’t have to look very far to find joy.

I have a friend who is an interior designer. She wants to create spaces that spark joy.

And I have another friend who stays home with her kids but she loves to create experiences that spark joy.

I know a musician who writes music to refresh your spirit and bring more joy.

Joy is everywhere.

But joy is not the same as happiness.

My friend, Melanie, says that the difference between happiness and joy is that joy hurts. She’s right. Sometimes joy does hurt. But my favorite is when my soul is filled with so much joy it’s fit to bursting because it’s so full of love and happiness and gratitude for the relationships and opportunities I’ve been given.

If you want more joy, practicing more gratitude is a great place to start. Think about the things you’re grateful for and then think about how can you leverage those things to create lasting memories. Today, I’m grateful for friendship, for even when I feel like time is flying and maybe I haven’t done all the things I wanted to this year, I’ve had these joyful moments that mattered with the people I love. We made time and space for each other in the middle of what would normally be a crazy time of year.

The lesson? To spark joy is a valid goal. And you don’t even have to tidy up to get that loving feeling. Maybe you don’t even have to plan a Favorite Things Party.

But I promise this is one party you’ll want to repeat year in and year out.

How will you create more joy this year?


What is a life? Practice, Plan, Prepare (Repeat)

Every week, I interview a woman I admire for Mission Driven Monday, and every week we ask the same three questions:

1) What are you the most proud of?

2) What are you learning right now, in this season?

3) And tell me about your aspirational future, the future YOU. Who do you want to be?

I have loved these interviews because I’ve learned so much about the people in my life, some who have entered it for a specific season and others who are part of my core team.

During introductions, I talk about some of the big things they’ve done in their lives, some of which are very impressive, but when I ask them the question, “What are you most proud of?” common answers include:

  • Staying the course

  • Persevering through the hard stuff

  • Wanting to quit, but keeping going

  • All the little things that have made me who I am

And it made me think about how we’re all just waiting for that one big break, the big opportunity that will make all our wildest dreams come true. And for some of us certainly there are pivotal circumstances. Some of us are outliers and have met interesting people or been in the right place at the right time, but more often than not, it’s the consistent, daily deposits that have truly shaped who we are today.

All those successes and failures rest not on one big opportunity but on the habits cultivated by a lifetime of consistency.

It would be easy to give up.

Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.
— Bill Gates

Sometimes it’s only by looking back that we are able to see that it’s all the things we did leading up to the big break are the things that made the difference.

I just finished reading the book, Sully, by Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger, the pilot who successfully landed the irreparably damaged Flight 1549 in the Hudson River in 2009. Hailed as a hero, his life has not been the same since that one event. Precious few chapters of the 350+ page book are devoted to the events that actually transpired that day. (The entire flight lasted just five minutes). Everything Sully and the crew did to land that plane was the result of careful practice, planning, and preparation. Not only had he logged 20,000 flight hours by the time he took to the sky on that fateful day in 2009, but years prior he had started a corporate safety consulting firm, and spent his formative years training as a fighter pilot with the US Air Force Academy. All that routine stuff wasn’t routine at all; it was the foundation for the remarkable event that catapulted his life and career into the stratosphere.

What are you doing to practice, plan, and prepare for your big moment?

The success or failure of your own life defining moments will rest on the merits of what you did every single day leading up to it.

Do not despise this small beginning, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.
— Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)



We don’t get our kids when they’re teenagers because we need all those years leading up to the drama of it to prepare. We can’t be the boss at our first job because we haven’t got the experience. And despite really, really wanting to be a fluent in Spanish or a concert pianist, I know it’s impossible without practice.

That’s why what you’re learning in this season, right this very moment, is so important—because when you think about your aspirational future, the future you, you need to know what it takes to make those dreams come true.

Moments make a life.

Ask anyone who has had to say goodbye to someone they loved.

Of course they remember the big stuff—the wedding, the birthdays, the promotions—but it is often the small stuff—the way they chewed their meat or got dressed in the morning that evoke the sharpest emotion. The fingerprint they left on the world was forged through all the small decisions they made, the everyday kind of stuff that’s boring and predictable—and necessary.

Anytime is a great time to begin thinking about what we can plan, practice, and prepare.

Think about what makes you proud. Are you persevering in the midst of insurmountable challenges or feeling crushed under the weight of responsibility and redundancy? What are you learning right now, in this season? And when you think about your future—what’s the plan? Are you prepared? Are you practicing?


Ready to take it to the next level?




How to Stop Fear in its Tracks and Move Forward with Your Dreams

We fear what we don’t understand and can’t control.

Which begs two questions:

1) If I understand what’s happening to me, will my fear go away?

2) And if I can’t control the unknown, what can I control?

The future is scary precisely because we don’t know what’s going to happen next. And those fears are compounded if we have something truly terrifying happening in our lives: a loved one battling cancer, a teenager making poor choices, or an unexpected tragedy that’s left us without resources or protection.

The future is scary for two reasons:

1) Either we don’t know what’s going to happen, and we’re afraid.

2) Or we do know what’s going to happen, and we’re afraid.

But we don’t really know what’s going to happen.

Ever.

And honestly I don’t think I want to know. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have the strength to move forward with my current reality. There’s a quote in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, when Dumbledore is talking to Snape, and he says, “Harry must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?” And this quote is important because from the very beginning, when we meet Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, we learn that the dark wizard, Voldemort, is out to kill Harry. He’s already killed Harry’s parents and stolen a childhood that might have been filled with joy, young Harry surrounded by a family who loved him. He might have grown up warm and happy, with siblings and even pets. Instead, he was raised by a cruel aunt and uncle, mostly neglected, and certainly verbally abused at every turn. And yet, Harry continues to live (through seven more books!)—despite the fact that his past reality was kind of crappy and there’s a maniac with a death wish out to get him.

Like Harry, we don’t get to choose what happens to us. We must respond by going on living despite the scary stuff.

So how can we have the strength to do what must be done?

I’m a Christian, so it’s easy for me to say “With God, all things all possible.” And while that’s true, it’s not true in the way you think. Despite praying harder, having more faith, and giving it the ‘ol college, we still may find that some things remain impossibly out of reach.

But we can remain strong by staying connected to God.

Remember this verse?

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and In in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing….This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”—John 15:5,8

And it’s this fruit that is so important in combatting fear. Without it, I’d be a blubbering mess.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law.—Galatians 5:22-23

When we say we want to know the future what we really want is the assurance that the future is good and that we’re going to be okay;.

Neither of those things might be true.

So how can we maximize the time we have in the present?

“Remain in me.”

That phrase is firmly grounded in the present. And here’s the reward, the Fruit of the Spirit. There is no fear in the fruit of the spirit—just love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

You may be lonely, frustrated, scared, paralyzed, and uncertain about what’s next, but what’s next is out of focus.

“Remain in me, and I in you, and you will bear much fruit.”

When we’re scared and we don’t know what’s next can we have more joy? Experience more peace? Practice more patience? Live more faithful?

I think it’s possible.

The root cause of your fear is part of a larger story, and all stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. You may not understand this messy middle until you get to the very end.

That’s what happened to Harry Potter. He kept going, even though it looked like he was walking straight into his own grave.

Sometimes the only way forward is through.

And remember, experience, no matter how scary or unpredictable or marked by hardship, is ever wasted.

Keep going.

3 R's: Rituals, Rhythms, and Rest (Part 3 of 3): Rest in the Midst of Chaos

I spent years getting up at 5:00 am to work out and staying up until well past 11:00 either watching TV or piddling around the house. I felt like I was always working, and yet when my husband came home and asked me what I did all day, sometimes I couldn’t even remember. I felt tired and foggy all the time.

So last year I decided things would be different. I started mindfully practicing rituals, rhythms, and rest.

Now, I’m sleeping a solid eight hours every night.

I still work out 5-6 days a week.

I have plenty of time to spend with friends.

I started a company, am the President of a large healthcare organization in North Georgia, volunteer for multiple community agencies, am the room mom in my daughter’s class, lead two Bible studies, homeschool my son, and write this blog.

And best of all, I get to read books I like, watch my favorite shows, and take an occasional weekend trip.

I’m not telling you all this because I want a pat on the back. I’m telling you all this because the years I spent NOT doing #allthethings were some of the most life-draining years of my life.

So how am I getting MORE rest, even in the midst of what seems like MORE activities and obligations?

All that time I spent not resting.
You know what that was about?
It was about my fear.

Fear that if I didn’t then God wouldn’t.

Fear that I was missing out.

Fear that wasn’t even grounded in reality but instead predicated on the * mostly * untrue thoughts swirling around in my own head.

All that swirling didn’t help me get more done. Instead, it just kept me from getting the sleep I desperately craved. I woke up foggy and grouchy, planning when I could take a nap or rest my eyes before my feet even hit the floor.

But it didn’t have to be that way!

That’s why we started this series talking about rituals and rhythms.

Do you ever feel high strung, irritable, skittish, and restless?

Are you always on high alert, ready to pounce?

If you’re thinking, “Hey, I have a dog who acts like that!” then you’re in good company. I have an unruly Yorkie named Hammy. He loves to drive me crazy, barking his head off at everything and everyone and taking himself for long walks when I’m not paying attention.

Hammy is tense.

That’s an understatement.

Hammy needs a nap.

But unfortunately he’s a dog, not a toddler, and he doesn’t understand English. I can’t put him down for a nap when I think he needs one. And I can’t keep him asleep with all the distractions ricocheting around our house: kids and doorbells and kitchen timers and oh, did I mention there’s actually TWO dogs vying for everyone’s attention?

It’s a zoo.

It’s impossible to shut out all the noise in our real-life Animal House.

I saw a friend yesterday who has a a three year old and a newborn. She was headed to the doctor to get some Ambien, because even though her younger daughter now sleeps through the night, my friend doesn’t know how to turn off her “mom brain” and just…REST.

I get it. Rest doesn’t come easy for some of us.

Less chaos + More productivity = More Rest. RIGHT???

You will not find rest just because your kids are growing up.

You will not find rest just because you checked some things off of your to-do list.

Rest takes training and patience. And if that sounds like the same skills it takes to run a marathon, you’re not wrong. I wish I could write a blog post about five easy ways to get more rest. Five simple tricks. People would read that, but I’ve found that most things in life really do take time.

Here’s how:

Remember: Spend time reflecting on what you’ve accomplished during the day. Don’t dwell on what you didn’t get done. It’s what you did get done that makes the difference.

Observe: What do you need to do tomorrow? Get everything out of your brain. Write it all down. This is called the Parking Lot method. It basically means that you get everything out of your head and park it somewhere for later. Instead of making a to-do list. Create a success list. What would make today a successful day? Write down just those things and do them.

Listen: Pay attention to what’s important. Eighty percent of the stuff we think about doesn’t even matter. Heck, most of the stuff we think about isn’t even about us. Listen to understand.

Find joy in the present: Are you safe? Are you warm? Do you love your family?

Our unrest is predicated on fear—fear that “it won’t” if “I don’t.”

But in not resting we find that we’re stressed out, burned out, and just plain tired. We want to quit, but instead we just keep going and going and going.

And that’s a recipe for disaster.

It’s too easy to end up like my dog, Hammy, who is territorial and stinky and just plain annoying.

Hammy has a big bark, but I often find him trembling like a leaf. Really, he’s just a big scaredy cat.

And we are too. We’re scaredy cats in human bodies.

I often tell myself that I’m working all the time when the reality is I’m scrolling through social media or texting friends.

Rest is not the same as avoidance.

Rest is not the same as silence.

Rest is not a waste of time.

Tell the truth about your life—your work and your rest.

Both are planned, purposeful, and peaceful.

Ask yourself:

1) How can I plan for both work and rest?

2) What is my purpose for resting during this day, this week, or this season? Am I being intentional about blocking time for periods of productivity and pause?

3) Does what I’m doing when I’m not doing the most important things bring me peace?

We fear what we don’t understand and can’t control.

Ask for wisdom (you’ll find it—I promise) and release what you can’t control. Even if you’re a control freak, you don’t have to control everything. You do you, boo. Let go of the fear.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Fast Company Magazine:

“No matter how crazy your days get, make sure you carve out and ruthlessly protect just 90 minutes—20% of an eight-hour day—for the most important tasks. “Even if you squander the remaining 80% of the day, you can still make great progress if you have spent 90 minutes on your goals or priorities.”

That’s good news for us. That leaves a full six and a half hours for rest. Use the time wisely.

Ready to take it to the next level?

3 R's: Rituals, Rhythms and Rest (Part 2 of 3): The Rhythm is Gonna Get You

Raise your hand if you’re overwhelmed by all the events you see on your calendar and tasks on your to-do list. There’s so many things you know you should be doing, but you just can’t see to find the time.

2018 was kind of exhausting, am I right? 

It seemed like every day there was another person asking you to sign up for their committee - or even worse, that moment when you realized you already said yes one too many times.

And then there were those days when you were just plain tired, a kid got sick, you didn’t plan dinner, the washing machine broke, and everyone was left scrambling to fend for themselves.

And then of course it seems like there’s always one more email in your inbox, one more book to read, one more course to buy. 

And yet, you’re still left with this nagging feeling of being behind, of not doing enough. 

I don’t want that for you in 2019.

Maybe you felt like you were always playing catch up in 2018, but 2019 can be different.

I understand.

I used to feel out-of-whack all the time. There were a thousand sticky notes plastered around my desk, I had piles of books on every surface, and at least three different journals that outlined my goals, plans, wishes, schedules, and even the weekly dinner menus. I couldn’t keep track of it all!

The good news is you don’t have to buy another planner or program or assistant.

The answer to your overwhelming problems is inside you, and it’s all about finding your natural rhythm.

You may have noticed that animals do this naturally. The morning songs of birds, the foraging behavior of the squirrels in autumn, and the human tendency to get a little blue in the winter all represent the natural rhythms of life. The presence of internal biological clocks is one of the most universal traits shared by all living things, from bacteria to fruit flies to humans (source).  You had no idea you had something in common with fruit flies, did you?

All animals respond to their environments by employing their natural biological rhythms, but we humans tend to think we can bypass nature and do things our own way. Cue ALL. THE. FAILURES. Luckily, the Creator of the universe imbibed us with all the tools we need to survive this crazy life. Let’s take a quick look at how paying attention to rhythms can revolutionize our new year’s resolutions.

Three Quick Tips & Tricks

Visit Sleepytown on the Regular

1)    Get up and go to bed at the same time every day. Oh my gosh—is it another person telling you you need to sleep more? I’m sorry. I had to say it because it’s true. You cannot underestimate the importance of a good night’s rest. It’s the #1 way to jump start your day and get more done. Without it, you’ll feel foggy, sluggish, and irritable. If you want to avoid pain, I cannot recommend this one change heartily enough. And this is coming from a person who used to stay up and watch all the late night shows and then get up at five to workout? Get your sleep! (Trust me when I say I don’t miss the TV at all and as for the workouts, sometimes I still do a 5:00 AM, but it’s built into my weekly rhythm.)

What Gets Repeated Gets Rewarded

2)   You’ve probably heard the phrase, “What gets rewarded gets repeated.” Guess what? The opposite is also true. At least in this case. “What gets repeated gets rewarded.” Your brain actually prioritizes repetition and routine. When you do the same things the same way, you free up space to be creative and save time in the long run. Establishing daily habits for exercise, work, meditation, meal prep, and community train your brain to be efficient. And I’m all about being efficient. If you own a dishwasher, microwave, toaster, or hair dryer, my guess is that you crave efficiency too.

One Foot in Front of the Other…Over and Over Again

3)   Back in the ‘90s, did anyone ever make you a mix tape? I think nowadays we call them playlists, and we have them for road trips, workouts, and special occasions. Once a year, I run a 10K in July. It’s really hot, and my running playlist keeps me motivated. Did you know that listening to music while exercising actually enables you to use 7% less oxygen? It’s true! I am not a runner, but that playlist keeps me going. Every single year, I finish the race because I just keep putting one foot in front of the other in time with the music. A 2006 study that looked at the effect of music on the selection of treadmill speed found that while listening to fast-paced music, participants increased their pace and distance travelled without becoming more tired. Really! Rhythms work! If you need something to keep you going, try making a playlist for work or for prepping meals or helping kids with homework.

My wish for you in 2019 is that you’ll be able to increase your pace and be less tired and more productive, and I believe you can do it. Write down your current rhythms and your preferred rhythms. No fancy planners. No complicated apps. Just you and your favorite notebook and a positive attitude about the new year.

For inspiration, and a little 80s throwback, maybe listen to this first.

Here’s to good vibes and good work in 2019. I’m with you all the way!

 Ready to take it to the next level?

3 R's: Rituals, Rhythms, and Rest (Part 1 of 3)

Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!

Around here, we’re getting pretty excited. When Santa shimmies down our chimney on Christmas Eve, he leaves traces of magic everywhere. There’s a trail of candy canes and gold coins from the kids’ rooms down to the Christmas tree, stockings stuffed to the brim with thoughtful gifts, and presents under the tree wrapped with—what else—a unique Santa paper for each child. Someone usually makes a Starbucks run, and then we spend the rest of the day cooking up yummy treats for friends and family stopping by. It’s a glorious time, a time so steeped in tradition, I think our family might implode if I tried to change a single thing.

Which got me thinking…

Why are traditions so important?

The word itself seems so dated and obtuse. No one wants to be traditional. How old-fashioned! We want to be progressive, trendy, and popular.

But tradition is important precisely because it can be counted on never to change.

The tradition is grounding; it helps us understand who we are and our place within the family unit and society as a whole.

My traditions do not minimize or negate yours.

In fact, our daughter loves to ask her friends about their traditions. She loves learning about what other families do, and in fact, many of our family traditions are not things that I grew up with at all, but rather things I read about in magazines or heard my friends doing, and thought, “Oh that would be fun for us!”

Which leads me to talk about something called rituals….

When it’s not the holidays, traditions have another name. We call them rituals, and our days are filled with them.

It’s making a pot of coffee or having tea before bed. It’s kisses and hugs before walking out the door and prayers at mealtimes.

Our everyday rituals are just as important as our traditions. They may even be more important because these rituals form the habits that shape us into the people we become.

A ritual provides structure for our days and weeks. A ritual is a physical cue that tells our bodies and minds what’s next.

The new year is the perfect time to begin incorporating rituals into your everyday life. Think of them as sort of your rules for living.

What are your current rules for living?
What are your preferred rules for living?

During this season of giving and receiving, I hope you’ll enjoy the time honored traditions your family has cultivated. Savor every moment. The traditions you love today will become the memories you cherish for years to come. (And the rituals you practice will become the foundation of your preferred future).

Merry Christmas!

Ready to take it to the next level?

Let’s Get Personal: Tell Me Who You Are and Who You Want to Be

Do you ever say to yourself,

“I wish I could be more ______________________.”

“I don’t understand why I always _____________________.”

“I’ll never be like______________________.”

This kind of negative self-talk is more familiar than we’d probably like to admit.

There’s a reason I talk about mission so much; it’s the message I need to hear. “Follow your mission, not the madness,” I always say.

As this year draws to a close, you may be thinking about what you want next year to look like.

Me too.

I love thinking about the future.

That’s why every year I choose one word that sort of becomes the embodiment of my aspirational self for the year.

Over the last few months, I’ve spent a lot of time inhabiting a space I can only describe as self discovery. Isn’t it weird how life is like that? When you’re a kid, all you care about is having fun. You don’t even really think about the person you are—or the person you’re becoming. And then in middle school and high school well-meaning friends write things in your yearbook like “Stay sweet” and “Don’t ever change.” And I don’t know if everybody was like this or it was just me, but I remember thinking, “God, I hope I’m not the same person in twenty years that I am today.”

Thankfully we are not static.

Over time, everything changes.

Including people.

When my middle school friends said, “Don’t ever change,” surely they didn’t really mean don’t ever change. In middle school, I was petty, self-absorbed, painfully shy, and overly judgmental. The best parts of me hadn’t yet had a chance to grow.

Never-changing should never be the goal.

And so this year, my word is DYNAMIC.

It’s true some things are static. I’ll never be able to belt out a beautiful rendition of “Go Tell it on the Mountain,” because I’m completely tone deaf, but I can learn how to play that song on the piano.

There’s more than one way to make music. The symphony of our lives can be played out in many ways.

Several years ago I read a book that completely re-framed the way I thought about my limitations. Instead of saying, I can’t because__________________, the author asked us to focus on solutions by “keeping the oxygen of optimism alive.” Now, I say, “I can if__________________” and thus focus on how my goals might be possible rather than if they are possible at all.

See the difference?

This year, I’m going to stop beating myself up over the things I’m not, over the things I believed were always true about me, and instead focus on what could be. Like the world around me, I will be dynamic.

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Dynamic

[dahy-nam-ik];

1. Characterized by constant change, activity or progress.

2. Having a lot of ideas and enthusiasm; continuously changing or developing; relating to forces that produce movement.


What’s your word of the year? I’d love to know!





You Do You: Being Yourself Shouldn't be That Hard

Do you ever feel like nobody in the world is just like you? Like you’re the only one in the world who likes dark chocolate, books that make you cry, lavender body lotion, fuzzy slippers, avocado toast?

Yeah…it’s probably just me.

If you, too, feel like you’re one in seven billion, then be glad. You are unique and special and one of a kind, worth so much because you are so rare. We all want to be special, but we also want to be recognized. And feeling different can sometimes also make us feel invisible.

 We long to belong.

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There’s nothing wrong with longing to belong.

Everybody wants to be seen, heard, and understood.

I’m a 5 on the Enneagram, an INFJ on the Meyers Briggs, a Stylish Innovator according to the Right Path, and a Blue on the temperament Assessment. Like every other person I know, I know that I don’t want to be reduced to a letter, a number, or a color. People are complex and beautiful and messy, and while all these tests help me understand myself and others better, I can easily get overwhelmed by all the information coming at me from every direction.

But overwhelmed does not have to mean stuck.

How do I make sure I’m seen, heard, and understood without losing myself?

My friend Melanie always says there are people like us and people who just like us. She and I are best friends, even though I don’t share her love of Star Wars, Zombie docudramas, or affinity for one-piece dolphin trainer swimsuits. She’ll never understand why I like to exercise before the sun rises or fall asleep during Broadway musicals and in the middle of late-night card games. She prefers to drink her calories, and I would never waste any of my precious calories on something I can’t chew. She takes her coffee black and I like mine with chocolate. I like everything with chocolate. But when it comes to the important stuff, we are for each other. We encourage each other. We love each other.

There are a couple of easy ways to up the ante on authenticity and accelerate the friendships you value without first taking a bunch of tests.

Keep it simple, stupid. 

1)    Share something meaningful or significant during a pivotal time in your life. Vulnerability is not a weakness, and when we open ourselves up to one another, everybody wins.

2)    Shine a public spotlight in public on something your friend cares about. Use your circle of influence to grow hers.

3) Show gratitude by writing a note, delivering a gift, or spending time together. (This might be my favorite!)

Social media gets a bad rap, but one thing I truly love about it is that all the interesting things my friends are doing are no longer secret. People are getting braver about putting their art and themselves out there for the world to see. I’m learning a lot of new things about the people that I’ve always liked; It’s so easy to reach out and say, “Hey, I’d love to learn about what you’re doing. Tell me more.”

It’s never been easier to make a friend or be a friend.

 You do you, and you’ll never be alone.